2021-12-08 - Did it Help?

The sun has set long ago and the sky is pitch black with almost no stars or moon to be seen through the clouds. The little cabin in the woods shines brightly with lights , and the flickering light of the fire in the woodstove. And yes, it looks like midnight but it's sadly very early. Easton is currently in the kitchen rooting around the fridge with an agitated hand while Gunner howls and barks and generally goes nuts at the sliding door to the deck. Easton picks his head up from the fridge, but doesn't hit it on the top on the way out (one of the perks of being fun sized) and yells, "Dammit Gunner leave the chipmunk alone!" He huffs and pulls a Labatt's Blue out of the fridge, having already drank all the holiday themed local beer already at some point. Gunner doesn't seem to head his instruction though and continues to bark like crazy until Easton comes over and squats painfully next to him to get in his face. "It's okay. You scared it away big guy."

Apparently Bennie thinks all the commotion is about her, because hips open the front door with a call into the house of, "It's just me!" Apparently she stopped by Savers on the way home, because she's juggling two paper sacks full of essentials like ice cream. A pint of peppermint swirl is on the top amid actual food like cereal, milk, rice and chicken stock to restock their pantry. "It feels like forever since I've been home." Said as she slides the bags onto the island with a groan that has her hand going to the small of her back.

The door opening gets both Easton and Gunner to turn their heads in unison. Gunner very excitedly runs over to greet Bennie with only a tiny bit of jumping which he's gotten better at. He does however nearly knock her over by trying to get as close as possible. Eason for his part, slowly rises. He looks her over, seemingly altogether and fine and his eyebrows twist up in the center dubiously. He is dressed in a nearly worn through sweatshirt over joggers that have been rolled up above his knee on his bad leg. His beard is trimmed but his hair is approaching shaggy and his eyes have the usual dark circles that had briefly disappeared. He makes his way over to her and pokes through the bags before giving her a light kiss of greeting, "Hey. It does feel like that." He agrees.

"Gunneeer." Bennie grouses as the dog steps on her foot, which of course does no damage as she's still in uniform and thus wearing her steel toed boots. She gently nudges the dog aside with the side of her knee so she can accept the kiss with a subdued smile. "Looks like you've had some long days too." Her hand touches his cheek, "Can you throw the ice cream in the freezer and the milk in the fridge? I've got to grab some aspirin and get out of these clothes."

Easton absently reaches down to scratch Gunner's bum as it wriggles in excitement over Bennie being home. The hand then less absently reaches Bennie's bum to squeeze as he agrees to put away groceries, "Sure. I can do that. Did you want me to order something? I'm not sure I need actual food..?" He gives her a dubious look at her plan, probably more so doubting the 'aspirin' part than the getting out of the clothes. "Okay.." He stops midway while putting the ice cream away and turns his head to call after her, "I'm glad your home."

"I don't know if I'm even hungry. So if you're not, I'll just force down a bowl of cereal." Said absently as they talk the mundane things that couples do as she unzips her GHFD EMS jacket and hangs it near the door. Heading up stairs, Bennie's hand bounces on the bannister as she pauses to look back at Easton. "Me too." She says earnestly before she tromps upstairs to change.

Returning a few minutes later, she's thrown on a flannel shirt over a pair of cut off shorts and knee high socks, a bottle of actual aspirin shaking like a maraca as she plods downstairs without her usual bounce. "Hopefully we'll both get a good night's sleep tonight." Continuing as if there wasn't a pause in their conversation.

"I might just make some popcorn then..?" Easton says even though she's not actually in the room at that point but he does go about getting out popcorn and not just microwave popcorn but the airpopper gizmo because they don't really cook real food but they have plenty of gadgets for making semi-food. He looks at her and the aspirin and a small smile plays on his lips. "That'd be a nice change of pace. /Both/ of us actually sleeping at night instead of only one at a time." Popcorn is popped and no talking occurs because it is really loud, but once that's done he heads with it towards the couch.

While the popcorn is going, Bennie sets about putting away the rest of the groceries. A pack of chicken here, a can of pineapple there, and then she's folding up the bags and tucking them in the recycling. As he heads to the living room with the popcorn, she grabs a couple of beers out of the fridge and joins him with the aspirin. She settles on a cushion with a noise of week's worth of decompression wrapped up into one sigh.

"Well I promise to be a Bennie sized weighted blanket for you, if you be an Easton shaped pillow for me." Their sleep isn't any different than wake, tending to be twined around each other. "Will you open this? My arms no longer work." She faux whimpers as she passes him the aspirin bottle. "Do I still smell like a decomposing dismembered body?" God, she hopes not.

Easton grins and sets the popcorn down safely between his good leg and the couch least Gunner try to 'share' with them. He takes the bottle and opens it, the mundane way. "Aww that sounds nice." Easton says of their sleeping arrangements. He leans over and takes a sniff and shakes his head, "Nah. Just a hint of PPE with strong undercurrents of hand sanitizer." A truly delightful scent-profile. He munches on some popcorn and finally, "Can I ask about the other night at Clayton's?" Well clearly he can, but can he do it without losing his temper at anyone? That's the better question.

"Oh thank the Celestials, I took so many showers out of paranoia." Bennie accepts the aspirin, shaking out a few straight into her mouth and washing it down with the beer. She's leaning to put the rest of the medicine on the coffee table when his question slows down her motions into molasses. "I'm guessing you don't mean helping him perform a juju autopsy on a murder victim before the police got there? I just needed time to ...process things, you know? So I appreciate the bit of space, I know it must've been hard. But. I'm here now, so ask away."

Easton's face screws up at her clarification and says, "Wait what? Is that what you were doing at his place that night..? Or wait what? I mean I kind of knew the headache was bullshit but what's this about a murder victim?" He is too confused to parse out what actually happened and now almost all of his questions are about that situation at least until he can unravel the difference between the two.

Bennie's mouth opens and her head tilts to the side, "Wait. No. Okay, let's back up." Scooting so she can sit a little sideways on the cushion and look at him more directly and comfortably. "Two separate Alexander instances, and the headache was legit. You know I get splitting ones when someone's tinkering around in my brain."

Sipping his beer Easton agrees, "Yes, please" to backing up. He nods and follows along with an 'Oh" and then a slightly less enthused, "Oh." He looks at her intently as his face plays out a wide array of ups and downs. He settles into a not so friendly stare of disappointment and forces himself not to sound angry or spiteful when he asks, "Did it help?" His voice is clipped but not unkind per say.

Bennie rolls her lips into her mouth, pressing their line together tightly until the skin goes white around them. "Yes. I think. I'm still processing. You are one hundred percent entitled to your feelings, but I wish you wouldn't look at me like that." She finally says, finger combing her hair up into a messy bun and securing it with an elastic from around her wrist. "I know you didn't want me to do it. All but forbade it, but I felt...I felt it's something I needed to do. So I went to Alexander and I asked and he obliged. Honestly, I think it was harder for him than it was for me. Save my back, which is killing me."

"Babe. I am .. trying" Easton stresses the word looking at her with an almost desperate look in his eyes. He really is. "You have been through enough. I mean.." He sighs and says, "I have watched so many men. So many Marines.." He stops. He looks at her trying to get her to just understand so he doesn't have to drag things out and show them. He keeps many things close, and few closer than his men. He never talks about them. Because they aren't for other people and he can't bear the thought of hearing other people's words about them. "So many that didn't come back from what they did. From what we were ordered to do. And I don't want that for you. And I would never want one of them reliving something.."

Her words about Alexander draw his ire and he snarls, "Oh fuck Clayton. It was not." He tries to hold back his anger but he can't help, "He's screwed up in the head from his time in the veil and whatever the hell that cult was and I know it's not his fault but holy shit is he not the guy I want helping you with this."

Bennie reaches for Easton's hand when he brings up the military, not in some sort of pity, but just trying to let him know that she's here and she's listening. "But I couldn't remember, Easton. And that's the part that was eating me up. Any good psychologist would have dug up those same sort of memories so I could deal with them, but I needed to know. Not what I could do, but that I actually would do it. Did do it. I felt it. Every bone crack, every slowing beat of his heart, and attempt at breath that didn't come. I did that to him. Me. I have that inside of me and now that I know..." Her head shakes slightly, her train of thought cut off as he lays into Alexander. "Easton, you're talking about my best friend."

Easton lets her take his hand and he frowns as she talks about it. "Do you know how many times I've wished I could forget? Bennie that wasn't a bad thing.." But he knows the cat is out of the bag or it's back in the bag where it wasn't before or something with cats and bags has occurred. He says, "And you have used your abilities countless times to save people's lives. And to help me. And to keep people safe when shit goes to hell and we get attacked by ghost turkeys or giant trash robots or whatever."

"I am. I get it. He is your bff buddy and that's great. You know I like Clayton. Hell I took his side with De La Vega and Joe. And I've stood up for him plenty. This is not about not liking him." Okay, honestly right now Easton is not the guy's biggest fan, but he tries to clarify. "But he is the last person I would choose to help you get through this."

Bennie shakes her head again, not in disagreement with him per se but trying to get him to see things from her point of view. "And I murdered someone Easton. In basically cold blood. But I think we all agreed that me turning myself in wasn't going to be an option because of all the good I can do. The only way I could live with myself is if I faced some sort of consequences. And now it's done. Alexander isn't the one helping me through this, Easton. It's you."

Easton's brows furrow and he starts to say something immediately but then realizes she's not wrong. She did do that. Provoked by years of some of the worst emotional abuse and just general shittiness, but still. He shakes his head and says, "I don't care what good you can do. I care about you being here." Just so it's clear, his reasons for not wanting her to turn herself in are not noble. "And I don't know why knowing what you did isn't enough..." He trails off but sighs, "But I also don't get to choose that for you, as much as I want to." The last part is strained, clearly not wanting to say it.

"Good. So I can punch him?" Easton asks hopefully and then backs down to, "At least headbutt him?" Yes that was his takeaway from her very sweet sentiment about him helping her through.

Bennie relaxes through her shoulders when he gives that one little concession that this had to be here choice, but the moment of ease passes as she reaches behind her and pulls out one of the throw pillows to try and smack him in the face for that Alexander comment. "No!" She unfolds herself from the couch and stands, pacing towards the kitchen.

Easton manages to dodge most of the pillow smack and look mildly offended. "What? Come on! I have feelings! They need punching!" He calls after her as she heads for the kitchen. He grouses, "What am I supposed to do just like talk about it? I don't want to talk about it." He eats popcorn, sullenly on the couch for a bit.

"You realize this is the most adult conversation we've had in ever, right? And now you're moping that I won't let you smack our friend who was just trying to help me out." Also Bennie isn't fleeing, she's just going to the fridge to grab out the ice cream and grab a spoon that she uses to gesture back at him. Progress! "And I was serious. I'm worried about him. He sort of...broke down afterwards. Started punching a wall. And Isabella is off with work - or something - so we have to be there for him. Punching him right now would be like kicking a puppy."

"Yeah, it's weird." Easton says of their ability to have this conversation. "I /am/ moping" He owns up to his moping but he also upnods with his chin at the ice cream because he would also like a bite of her ice cream. His face falls though when she talks about Alexander's break down. "Well that's not .. okay. But why? Because of what he showed you?" There's clear concern in his voice as to Alexander losing it and punching walls. "And not to say I told you so, but I told you so. He's a good dude, but he's also not really the guy to help here. But I will check on him and I don't mean that as a euphemism for punching him or headbutting him or otherwise physically harming him in anyway."

Bennie pads back into the living room and instead of sitting down next to him, she straddles his lap, even if it upsets the bowl of popcorn. It was cold anyways. She digs out a spoonful and offers it straight to his mouth, "I think, in that very moment, I reminded him of the man he trusted who used him to do some horrible things. He apologized later, and I think helping him at that dump site yesterday also helped ease that wound. So if you need to punch something, go to Kelly's or find a willing surrogate, yeah? For me?"

Easton does manage to move the popcorn bowl because he really would still like to eat some more of it even if it's cold but then there's a Bennie on his lap and he forgets about it. He accepts the spoonfull of ice cream and makes an approving 'mhmm' noise and nod at it. He frowns, "He apologized for having a meltdown. Of course he did." He shakes his head and says, "Fine, I guess I can't punch him. But maybe later?" He sounds hopeful. "What I need is for my husband to stop acting like he's too busy to spend some time with me so I can just punch him." Easton decides this is clearly the best course of action because time with Geoff and punching people are two things that go so well together.

With that problem solved, Easton wraps his arms around her waist and scootches her closer to him. "Are you doing okay? I had a not so great few nights but I'm back on track.." He's sober is what he means, but they rarely use the word, at least he doesn't. "How are you?"

"Maybe later." Bennie concedes as she wiggles into her new perch drawn up tighter into his lap. "And if you were dating a hot librarian, I doubt you'd come up for air either. I bet Harper is a freak in the sheets." The supposition made, she takes her own bit of ice cream, inverting the spoon so the concave part rests on her tongue and she can slide the contents off that way.

Her head wobbles at his question, waiting for her tongue to thaw out before she says, "I froze yesterday. We sort of got caught with our hands in the proverbial decomposing body goo filled cookie jar and Alexander had to handle it on his own. But if you're asking if I'm clean? Going on a week." Because she didn't want anything dulling her senses with Alexander. "So prepare yourself for dumb blonde who can't remember anything and is going to replace her need for a fix with sex. Lots of it."

"Oh for sure, I don't even ask because Geoff always gets this weird look on his face like he's about to tell me things that will scar me for life so I just leave that pandora's box of their weird sex things closed."

"I am." Asking. "And I got high as shit after that text I just... didn't handle it well. But there's nothing in the house and that's in the past and now you just need to keep me very very busy with all that sex so that I can stay on the right path." He's joking clearly, but he's also running his hands up the back of her shirt and letting his rough hands press against her sore back, urging her forward.

"And I guess you don't mean smoking a joint in the bathtub sort of high?" Because really, if it was, would he even have brought it up? Instead of looking disappointed, she just kisses the tip of his nose to thank him for telling her. "And I have nothing in the house. So next time either of us get the urge, the clothes come off. Which. Might get awkward at work." Bennie grins and dissolves into a purring groan sound that gets pressed against his mouth when she kisses him. "Bed, floor, or couch?"

Easton just shakes his head that no, that is not what he meant. He wouldn't have even mentioned it if it was and she knows it. "Yes well I'm pretty sure they've all seen it anyway so oh well.." The poor poor staff at TiBS.

Between kisses he manages to state firmly, "Couch." before adding "At least round one."