2022-01-31 - Bluebell says Yuck

The great thing about dog is that it gets Isi out of the house - and OFTEN. She usually takes the dog up along Bayside to run by the ocean, but today Elsa's nose demands another route - deeper down Elm and towards Alexander's house. The dog doesn't realize this, but Isi does. So as they begin to pass Alexander's place the woman covertly checks to see if the private investigator is home.

Elsa does her part by pausing to pee on Alexander's fence.

It can be hard to tell if Alexander is there; he doesn't have a car and he leaves the curtains pulled tight. Mostly. Right now, there's a white cat who has maneuvered to sit in the window sill, and she narrows her eyes as an intruder pees on the fence. She arches her back, but slowly - more of a 'hey you, you better know this isn't yours' than a direct aggression.

After a few moments, Alexander twitches aside the curtains and looks outside. He stares at Isi. Then at the dog. Then at Isi again. The curtain falls back into place. After a moment, the door opens. He's wearing oversized sweats with the Addington High School logo on them. "You got the dog," he says, with a nod towards Elsa.

Elsa was picked out by Kitty Pryde herself and so is moderately respectful of cats. She woofs once at the cat but doesn't try to go towards Bluebell or anything. When Alexander opens the doorway though Elsa shies away. She tucks herself behind Isi for a hot second before craning her head around to peer at Alexander. It's an inner doggy battle - greet the other human or stay with her human. WHY IS LIFE SO HARD?!

"Yeah - her name's Elsa. Come on baby," that's a tone Isi doesn't put on often as she tries to coax the dog out. "This is Alexander. He's an idiot, but not in a bad way."

"Nicest thing someone's said to me today," Alexander says, with a flicker of a smile. He moves forward to sit down on the stoop, and extends a hand, palm up, apparently content to let the dog approach on her own time, if she decides to. His eyes shift up to Isi. "How's she settling in? And how are you?" Behind him, Bluebell jumps down and saunters to stand in the open door, regally staring at Elsa.

Welllllll if he's going to offer - Elsa's tail gets set to wagging, the almost pure bred German Shepard's butt doing a little dance as she comes up to sniff at Alexanders hand. HI person. She likes being petted, right there, see how she turns her head to display the right spot for him?

Isi keeps a loose hand on the leash, giving Elsa enough room to greet, but not to jump if the dog should take it into her mind to do so. "Pretty well. My place is a bit small, but we get out enough that she's not too discomforted by it. About two weeks into her formal training and she learns quick. We start an emotional service dog training next week so I can get her certified to come with me into places and what not."

The polite thing to do is to say 'how are you' but Isi's talking about her dog and is rude in that regard.

Alexander always has time for animals, and when Elsa sniffs and then solicits pets, his whole face lights up into a delighted grin. She gets all the pets, in all the places that she seems to like. He ducks his head and murmurs to her about what a good dog she is. For a moment, Isi doesn't even exist. This is dog time. Eventually he does look up, and clear his throat. Without stopping his pets, he says, "Good. She seems smart. She'll learn well. You're getting along with her?" His tone suggests that if there are any problems in that regard, they clearly lie with Isi.

At this point Elsa has flopped down onto the ground to present her belly to Alexander. This is good, she likes you, life is good. Poor Bluebell gets ignored as Elsa panders for Bluebell's human's attention.

"So far yeah - she likes my shoes and to steal food she shouldn't have," Isi shoots a loving LOOK at Elsa with extreme exasperation in her tone. "She sleeps in the crate at night pretty well, so that's nice. We walk - a lot. She's a big dog and since I don't have a yard... well. I'll take a few eaten shoes as a signal we have to get out more."

"Your shoes smell like you and taste like deliciousness. If you were her, you'd eat them to," Alexander says, and scratches the dog's belly with every appearance of satisfaction. "You want me to tell her not to eat shoes? And I'd think you'd like walking. You take her up to the forest, yet? She's probably love to chase some squirrels up there. Or deer. She could probably take a deer. A small one. Couldn't you, sweetheart?" that, fondly, to the dog.

"Can you talk to her?" Isi, having forgotten this bit if lore, if she ever knew it, is instantly grabbing onto that idea with wide eyes. "Can she talk back? Can you ask her if she likes the food? I know it's just kibble but I can't really afford a full raw diet for her. But maybe there is Kibble she likes better?"

This is not the same Isi as before - love for her dog has forced other feelings to one side. Maybe as she settles they'll come back.

Alexander hums. "It's not really a conversation in words, but I can probably get an emotional impression of whether she likes the food. If you want." He bends over and smiles at Elsa as his fingers play in her fur. "Let's talk, hmm?" With that, his other hand comes up and rubs lightly at his temple as he reaches out with his mind and gently tries to get the dog to think about her food and whether it's something she likes.

Well, Elsa does NOT like her food. LIKE AT ALL. But it's better than being hungry, right? Alexander gets flashes of what good food tastes like, including flashes of her favorite non-dog foods, like meatballs, fries, salty chips - pasta. Oh god she loves pasta. But Isi never gives it to Elsa even though Isi eats it and Elsa wants it. Doesn't Mommy notice how much Elsa BEGS for it? At least can't she get the stuff out of the can like her old mommy gave her?

Isi stands to one side, shifting from foot to foot.

Alexander is trying not to burst out laughing. He's trying. He's only sooooort of succeeded. He does slip in an aversion to eating Isi's shoes in the dog's mind, and some sympathy for the food. Then he tries not to grin at Isi as he turns his attention to her. So his mouth twitches a bit suspiciously. "Her previous owner was feeding her things she shouldn't have, like pasta. She really likes pasta." A cough. "She doesn't like the kibble. But she'll eat it. She wouldn't mind a can of wet food sometimes, though."

Is Alexander trying not to laugh at her? Isi's eyes narrow at the twitching but the information he is giving is GOOD enough. "Oh god - she begs like crazy, I wondered if that was true. You can't have pasta. Remember when you went behind my back and got into my take out? You were shitting the rest of the day!" That comes from a finger waggle at Elsa.

NO PASTA.

"Wet food... well, I can try to get some of that in at least."

Alexander snickers, and ruffles the dog's neck. "Sorry, Elsa. No pasta for you. Maybe she can find you a good, stinky corpse to roll in, instead." This is teasing, and thankfully he doesn't try to put it in the dog's head. "But wet food would make her happy, I think. And you seem happy. To have her. Even with the shitting and shoe destruction. She won't do that for a while."

@emit SHUDDER. No corpses please. Yuck yuck YUCK.

That's Isi's reaction at least. "Yeah." There's that stupid smile again as she crouches to join in the petting. "It's nice to have a distraction at least. And an excuse. I mean, I'm not hiking alone if I have her, right?"

"By definition," Alexander agrees, with a bob of his head. "And she seems like a good companion on a hike. You chose well." Another ruffle of the dog's fur before he sits back, forearms loosely resting on his knees. "Careful. I've seen more smiles just now than in our previous association. You might damage your rep." His eyes twinkle with mirth.

A kneejerk "Fuck you," rolls off Isi's lips as Alexander issues that WARNING. It's quickly softened as the cessation of Alexander's petting has Elsa springing to her feet to sniff at his face to figure out why it stopped.

"Yeah... well, she's a good dog. Her last owner was a single woman so it just fit. I don't know how she'll react if I bring a guy home for sex."

"Ah, there is the Miss Cameron I am more familiar with," Alexander says, dryly. When Elsa sniffs at his face, he rubs at her ears, gently. "Hm. Does she react territorially when people come by? Usually when a dog gets upset at their owner having sex, it's because they think they're being attacked, or because they're generally territorial and their territory is being invaded. The training should give her a word you can use to designate someone as a friend." He raises an eyebrow. "Unless you just enjoy your sexual partners terrified. I don't judge."

"I... have no idea to be honest. She seems okay enough when we're out on walks, though shy more at first unless they give her reason to get closer. The only other person that's been by the house is Ravn, and he was there when I adopted her so I figure she probably thinks of him more like a fixture than a threat?" That's probably too much talking as Isi frowns in serious consideration. Wait, "..... Do you like your sexual partners terrified? I feel like I need to know this now."

"You should probably try to introduce her to lots of different people before she gets set in her idea of territory," Alexander suggests. "Invite people over just to meet her. That sort of thing. She doesn't feel insecure though, which is good." And then Isi asks that question, and Alexnader coughs, like he has to choke on his first response. "Ah. No." He shakes his head. "I'm an empath. It's sort of the opposite, if it matters. If my partner isn't enjoying themselves, I can't. Touching someone's mind and finding out they were terrified would be," he shudders, "horrific."

"... That would require inviting people over to my place that I don't even like." Isi points out, her logic completely irrefutable in her mind. "Plus part of the point of getting her was so that she can warn if me if regular people come close - I don't want her to lose the instinct to bark wildly. " Ah, see, there's the Isi that is still deathly afraid of people and their motivations. It was just hidden for a bit.

Talking about Alexander's sex life is much better - so Isi will FIRMLY switch to that topic. "So that must mean you either don't get laid much or are really good at it, huh?"

"That may contradict the emotional support animal training," Alexander points out, dryly. "But you could probably train her to give you a specific warning bark when someone arrives that she doesn't know." He at least doesn't seem to be judging the need to have that sort of warning. His fingers sneak back over to scratch Elsa again. Bluebell is going to punish him when he goes inside. The continued talk of his sex life doesn't seem to bother him. "Both. I mean, outside of college. I got laid a lot in college. But that was probably being in the sex cult." The way he says it, carefully deadpan, but a smile lurking around his mouth, definitely suggests he's fishing for a reaction.

"Yeah - well, if I have to fake the papers I'll make it happen. I want her at work with me, and my medical leave is going to run out in about two months." Isi, letting slip that she TOOK medical leave. Two attempts on her life were enough to warrant it.

But. Sex Cult. Yes.

He doesn't get the satisfaction of more than an upraised eyebrow. "So you were in a fraternity, huh? I never could get my self interested in the Greek System. People fucking suck."

Alexander nods. "Ravn probably knows someone who could fake the paperwork," he says, with a faint smile. "Used to know a good forger, but he's moved on, I think. Otherwise I'd introduce you. But getting her actually trained and certified is a good idea. For you and for her; if she gets startled at work and bites someone, you might have to put her down." It's blunt but not unkind.

There's a disappointed sniff at her reaction. "Not a fraternity, although I think we were technically a classics club. Translated old grimoires, played at ritual magic, that sort of thing. And people don't suck. Not universally."

Ah, "They can go fuck right off. She's my damn dog and they should keep to their own fucking space." Isi wraps her arms around Elsa at even the THOUGHT of having to put her down. Nope. Fuck that. Give her a moment to collect herself.

"Yes - they do. You just proved it. If Elsa bites them then they deserved it , and asking me to put her down because some fucker was an idiot just proves it."

"You're right," Alexander says. "It wouldn't be her fault. It'd be yours for bringing an untrained dog into a situation that might frighten her without her knowing how to behave." He gives her a look. "But you're going to get her trained, so there shouldn't be a problem, and she won't bite anyone." A smile at Elsa, and he adds, to the dog, "People taste terrible, anyway, don't they, sweetheart?"

"Fuck you." Isi replies, her hands clenching on the leash as she stands up and tugs lightly to get Elsa to come back to her side. Irritation and outright anger at his words - even if they're followed up by the caveat dig at her. "Yes, they do. We should get going. Your cat doesn't look too happy."

Yes, blame it on the cat.

Alexander glances back at Bluebell. Who is, indeed, giving him a sort of betrayed look that suggests he's going to need to break out the good food to placate the princess. He sighs. Being owned by cats is hard. A look back at Isi. "Fine. Don't die, Isi. And bring Elsa back by sometime. She's a sweetheart, and I like her. I'll keep some bones for her." Beef bones, probably. Surely not any other sort of bones. Didn't we already establish that people taste terrible..

"I don't intend to. I have something to live for." Isi says, rubbing between Elsa's ears and getting a lick in return. Another small tug on the leash has the dog turning away from Alexander's doorway and begin trotting down the road. Her tail is up and waving happily. There is always a new smell!

Goodbyes are for suckers though, so instead of that Alexander gets a, "Yeah sure. Maybe she can run around in your yard or something." And poop there. Poor Bluebell.

Alexander stands and makes his way inside. "Mi casa es su casa," he says, although it's not loud, so it might not even make it all the way to Isi's ears. He closes the door, while immediately starting to reassure the cat, "No, she's not prettier than you are, and we're not getting a dog. Yes, I'll wash my hands."