2020-11-23 - The Case of the The Great and Might Banishing of Anything that Cannot See Over the Counters

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Gentlemen I need to know if you are available

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : for dinner. I'm not hitting on you

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Or threatening to cook you

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : what? You know this is Alexander Clayton?

(TXT to Hyacinth Alexander) Vyv : Fairly sure you would be disappointed either way.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : okay well all of that I suppose is not entirely true at all times but I need your council.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Mr. Clayton I am aware. And Vyvvy I would now. Your grandmum said so.

(TXT to Vyv Hyacinth) Alexander : Oh. Okay. Dinner? I guess. When? I need a few days.

(TXT to Hyacinth Alexander) Vyv : My counsel is a better choice than Grandmama's. What's going on? And hello, Mr. Clayton.

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : Hello.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : There is concern that my grandfather's ghost is causing us a concern which is very odd as Addingtons would have the decency to not lurk. It's terribly tacky

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : Oh. Yes. There was a Dream. I don't know that it was a ghost, but rather a Dream figment. Unless there's more?

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Also it's my turn to host. And Ravn's been asking questions and saw it himself. I figured it'd be easier to get those with some knowledge on this together. And there may be? We have a great number of unanswered things.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Where are you off to anyways?

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : Many unanswered things. Always. And I'll be around. Just busy.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : being nosy?

(TXT to Hyacinth Alexander) Vyv : No reflection on you, Hya, but he wasn't precisely being a bastion of class before he died either.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : I say this as a compliment

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : No.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Vyv I appreciate your care of omition. ANd true

(TXT to Hyacinth Alexander) Vyv : Dinner sounds lovely though. So does having unanswered things answered, though I think that might be trickier to arrange. I've not had much luck with it, at least.

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : I can't promise answers. I will do my best not to break anyone's nose, though.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Hell I'm not even asking that. Just don't get stains on my carpet. I just had them steamed.

(TXT to Hyacinth Alexander) Vyv : Well, I'm asking that if mine's one of the options. I like it how it is.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : As far as I can tell it seems we don't leave ghosts, and yet there's now a vision and strange dreams and I'm not particularly plused by their inconvenience. Grandfather's body is missing and Ghol vamoosed erasing his being here and that... Well I think I know where he is. The problem I see is one of a vacuum

(TXT to Hyacinth Alexander) Vyv : And this after having your carpets steamed, too. What sort of vacuum, where?

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : dinner parties make me nervous. Vacuum?

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : okay a dinner party that is people you already know doesn't count Clayton

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : A power vacuum, Vyv

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : and I don't mean Helena. She's a power vacuumer

(TXT to Hyacinth Alexander) Vyv : Ah. Some sort of metaphysical one in this case? (Not Helena's. I know hers lacks meta.)

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : There are dinner parties with people you don't know? That sounds terrible.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Don't I know it. I do them all the time. But unless the ghosts are no longer your concern. Also avoid the Safeway

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : I mean because it' the safeway but I heard there was an infestation

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : But there's groceries at the Safeway. 🙁

(TXT to Hyacinth Alexander) Vyv : Lots of them. And most of them are. Actually the degree of terrible can probably be worked out by some sort of equation involving how many you don't know.

(TXT to Hyacinth Alexander) Vyv : Yes but none of us deserve to have most Safeway groceries inflicted on us. At least look for better produce.

(TXT to Hyacinth Alexander) Vyv : What's it infested with now? Rats or is this a ghost-related issue?

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Well it's now an Unsafeway what do you want me to tell you?

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : It's hard to imagine ghosts infesting a Safeway. They're not a major nexus of death. Usually.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Gremlins, snot, and apparently e-coli

(TXT to Hyacinth Alexander) Vyv : Two out of three of these are no surprise whatsoever.

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : Have to agree with him.

(TXT to Hyacinth Alexander) Vyv : Actually not shocked about the gremlins either. Smell terrible, steal things?

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Yeah the snot caught me off guard too

(TXT to Hyacinth Alexander) Vyv : Have you never noticed how many children it attracts?

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : Was anyone seriously hurt by the gremlins?

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : I don't wan to describe it in detail and I wasn't there but Ravn said something about gremlins in masks that couldn't breathe, an Irishman shooting up the place. I dunno which one they're pretty interchangeable, and a shit demonling or ...something

(TXT to Vyv Hyacinth) Alexander : An Irishman? Seth?

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : He's one of several. I think it was him.

(TXT to Hyacinth Alexander) Vyv : Masks? That's new.

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : ::frowny face emoji::

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Aww that's so cute! you learned to emoji

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Send those to Javier. I hear he gets a real kick out of them.

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : I've always known how to emoji. ::angry face emoji:: And he doesn't like them.

(TXT to Hyacinth Alexander) Vyv : Well, I suppose 'shit demonling' is new too. Thankfully. Particularly good day not to be at Safeway. Ravn was there, though?

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : He was. And send them anyways

(TXT to Hyacinth Alexander) Vyv : Sounds like all the more reason to send them. Anyway, good, I'll have to poke the Dane about it then.

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : I do. He usually curses.

(TXT to Hyacinth Alexander) Vyv : I see no problem here. You'll tell us when you're aiming to have this dinner, Hya?

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : It's healthy for his blood pressure. Good for you. Well let me know when you are done with whatever

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : Give me a few days, and then I'll try. Sorry.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Will do. Vyv what's your holiday schedule like?

(TXT to Hyacinth Alexander) Vyv : [Despite a fair bit of time passing, no answer appears to be forthcoming.]

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : I swear to god if you are getting laid instead of texting me back I'm going to be very mad with you

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Vyv?

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Really nothing?

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : Is he okay?

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : I don't know. There's a good way to test. I'm going to eat this pop tart If he's not here to slap it to the ground and try to banish it we know something is wrong. I'll keep you posted.

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : Put string cheese on it.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Why are you trying to sabotage my ass with string cheese now?

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : I just figure that if he doesn't scream in denial of string cheese on a pop tart, then we know he's not reading these.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Oh shit he's not here

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : not here as in Over There?

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : D:

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : Oh no. 🙁

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : I swear if it's the gremlins I'm getting a fucking ordinance passed outlawing any persons under 3' tall

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : I know this includes children but I'm willing to make this sacrifice

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : that's discriminatory

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : You're right. We'll omit dogs

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : That's not what I meant. You can't outlaw people under a certain height. Bad Addington. no cookie.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Fine they can get a doctor's note.

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : ...

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Are you sure though? They're very sticky

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : For being short?

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : for being children and gremlins and being little snot goblins

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : Those are three distinct species, and one of them is human. You can't outlaw children. Kids are fun.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : 😐

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : Don't give me that face.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : 😐
😐
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(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : No. Bad. I will paint awful things on the mill.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : ffs Clayton don't go near the mill it wants to fuckign eat you

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : Not THAT mill. I'm not fucking stupid. Unless they both want to eat me. Wouldn't put it past them.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : They may actually both want to eat you. That's why the dinner party!

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : 😐 wow that came out with really bad timing

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : ...

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : OKay I don't wnat to see you dead or eaten

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : and I am trying to prevent this also from the labor union shooting at you

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : I do not consent to being sacrificed by any Addington. For the record.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Duly noted for posterity

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : Are they gonna eat me soon? Because I'm busy.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : You're looking for Vyv?

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : Oh shit that's wright he's missing

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : I'm not looking for Vyv right now. I can't go Over There without assistance.

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : And I'm busy.

(TXT to Alexander Vyv) Hyacinth : I'll call Itzhak. I'm getting my shit back. Text me later when you're' done with whatever

(TXT to Hyacinth Vyv) Alexander : Okay. That's good. Itzhak is good.