2021-05-09 - The Gossip Queen Society

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : hey ANVILGUARD quit partying so hard with the ADA

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : ... Oh God. No. Hard no. Nope. Not. Absolutely not. Definitely not. Nej, nada, no way, José.

(TXT to Ravn Itzhak) August : woah hang on back up. you're seeing the ada??

(TXT to Ravn Itzhak) August : so you broke up with her

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : 💀

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : is that why you had to go to the hospital

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : ... Back up a moment, guys?

(TXT to Ravn Itzhak) August : ...one night stand?? look I am only fluent in tween emoji I need words from you. wait hospital??

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : you didn't see the gazette today did you roen

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : There was a 'gas explosion' at the HOPE centre. By which I mean it turned out our basement did in fact contain the dead butcher, his dead wife, and a handful of dead friends, and they beat the shit out of me, Hyacinth Addington, Hawthorne, Holt, and Vydal.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : I just woke up in a dead crater I made in firefly so...no.

(TXT to Ravn Itzhak) August : jesus christ. do any of you need springing out of the hospital?

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Hence, hospital. Kinney's been working overtime. I'm out. Think the hospital might need springing from Addington and Vydal.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Now, the bloody ADA...

(TXT to Ravn Itzhak) August : ...fair point. don't think you've distracted me, though, I need some deets on you and the ada. she's a real ballbuster, I didn't think you liked 'em that dom, you know?

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : oh man were they mad I got that stain out? i bet they were mad

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : You know the guy who manages the Casino -- Evans. Besides casino manager, he's an accountant.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : They were very very mad.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : well i ain't apologizing to them!

(TXT to Ravn Itzhak) August : did you fuck with a ghost's ambience? I thought that was a big fat no

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : One of Evans' clients wants to make a donation to HOPE. So I headed over there with the contact info and such for our law firm in Seattle.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Look, the ghost's 'ambience' smelled up the entire street.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : i might apologize to you though because now I feel bad.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : (Also, nothing left but ashes and very old fruit preserve to apologise -to-)

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : So anyhow, I went to the Casino, and because my timing is always great, there was some kind of fundraiser going on, which Bennett had been sent to attend or something. And she spotted me and grilled me a bit on whether I work for Felix Monaghan or similar. Then made a reporter take that picture, then made me buy her a drink.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : And that's it.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : or I might just laugh because yeah she's a ball buster, she's been busting de la Vega's balls and he don't care for it none

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : MADE you buy her a drink huh

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Look, staying on the good side of the ADA is probably a good idea. It's not as if nonprofits ever get used for money laundering.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : you DO like them that dom

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : ... It doesn't matter what I like, it was not a bloody date.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : I haven't been on a date for what... three years?

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : that's not a no, and, if a woman informs you you're buying her a drink and you don't refuse, it's kind of date-adjacent

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : [an image of the picture of Ravn standing looking mildly terrified while Cassidy beams hanging on his arm]

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Pretty sure that it means said woman is trying to rile you up for shit and giggles.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : president for life of the hope foundation, raven anvilguard

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : it really HAS been 3 years for you hasn't it, I can tell

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : I think her hand might still be hurting though. Protip: Grabbing the hand of someone with neuropathy and hauling them off is not a good idea.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : eh now she knows better. if it was a deal breaker she'd have figured out a way to make you pay for it

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Also, I have no idea where that shit is from? HOPE does not have a president, the closest thing it's got is an official spokesperson. Who isn't me.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : decisions are made by those who are visible, etc

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : all I know of the ADA is that she decides things and the rest of the world has to cope

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : That kinda groks with the impression I have of her, yes.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Seth asked me about this yesterday too. I'm gonna tell you guys what I told him. If I ever go on an actual date, I'll send you assholes a selfie with the unfortunate victim.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : look all mocking anvilguard aside, are you okay roen?

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Yeah, 'crater' is not a good conversation opener.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : I'm fine, I think maybe my shaping's broken but I'm not injured or anything

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Not injured is good but, the rest honestly doesn't sound so great.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : also I assume you mean YOU will send us the selfie because there IS photo evidence of this 'totally not a date' and you are, in fact, the unfortunate victim in this case

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : ... Yes.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Seriously, if I go on a date sometime I'll tell you.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Probably for three days until you tell me to stuff a sock in it.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : it's happened before, when we let megan fix the holes in our heads. shit was barely working for weeks.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : all ribbing aside you don't need to tell us if you don't want to, it's not really our business. we just want to know because we're gossipy queens

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Don't think I've heard about that, but I'm glad to hear that you're not badly worried.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : not yet, anyways. I may get Finch to look me over, see if anything looks obviously broken.

(TXT to Ravn Itzhak) August : and I need to try healing someone, make sure I still can. I can break and fix things. and kill things. not sure about the rest.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Maybe start with something small. Plenty people with scratches, worst case scenario nothing happens?

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : yeah I remember that, that was when the casino opened and everybody was a quart low on the Song

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : okay I just tested, nothing seems wrong from my end, but I don't got the shaping

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Can't help there either. I can still float a lighter just fine.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : ...kinda hear something weird, but shit, when DON'T I hear something weird

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : that's a relief, then. I mean, that it's not everyone.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Welcome to Gray Harbor, everything is weird.

(TXT to Ravn Itzhak) August : hear something weird? are you getting tinnitus already

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : please I've had tinnitus for years

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : I mean, sometimes I can hear a weird note and it's something to do with the border opening

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : ...huh. like, you hear things coming through it?

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Can't decide if I'd be better off with some kind of pre-warning like that, or I'm happier just not knowing whether I'm dreaming or not most of the time.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : kind of? hard to explain. I just hear things and sometimes I can follow the sound.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : hm. maybe it is changing, then. in which case I am putting in a petition to get unfucked because only being able to kill plants is irritating as hell.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : That sounds remarkably inconvenient in your profession, too.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : you kill plants, abildgaard went on a date, everything's upside down

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : I did not go on a fucking date. I don't go on fucking dates.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : you were kidnapped onto a not-date by the ADA, my Glimmer's killing plants, nothing makes sense.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : ... Fair.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Nothing makes sense is kind of par for the course around here, though.

(TXT to Ravn Itzhak) August : fair, except, this is kind of bullshit from my perspective. it's not a dealbreaker, I can do fine without it, just kind of...petty.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Yes, well, you could probably survive with a few less legs too but I doubt anyone signs on for a double amputation out of boredom and a wish to race wheelchairs.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : (audio clip of Itzhak singing 'Stop Making Sense'. The end has Ruiz growling in the background and Itzhak laughing like a jerk)

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : There's a storm coming, you remember? We got told, several times. Maybe this is part of it.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : okay, that's true. it was a weird dream, too, some sort of series of puzzles. come to think of it, I'll check with the rest of them, make sure they're okay.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : if that's the case, keep an eye on your song. it's probably going to get weird on you somehow.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : And honestly? The gut feeling I have about it all is, I should invite Cameron on a sailing trip to Olympia, listen to her berate me for a week about how Gray Harbor is full of shit, and it'll maybe have blown over when I get back.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : I don't have enough of the juice to be really worried, but I'll pick up my lighter the usual way.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : unless the storm is a literal one too and you're lost at sea for 10 years like tom hanks

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : ... Good point.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : :makesyouthink:

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : I need to introduce Cameron to you guys sometime though. Think you'll like her.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Although currently she's pretty convinced we're all one big conspiracy to drive tourism to town but, I guess that'll change the first time the Veil hits her.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : does she has the Art? I seem to recall the ada doesn't.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Yeah, she does. Pretty sure Bennett doesn't. If Bennett did, I'd have told her straight up -- look, the money that's coming out from Evans originate from the Veil so just... leave it.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Cameron's First Nations. She thinks we're full of shit, but in the same way that people back home were full of shit. Like, we really believe this crap.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : ah. well, that's a safe way to approach it, if she's new. newish. new to the area. we should keep an eye on her, in that case.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : She comes around HOPE a fair bit. Think she's kind of looking to connect with the locals a bit, find out what the town is like.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Grey showed her a door to the other side, she's still kind of reeling about that.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : good way to start her off. that way it doesn't take her by surprise.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : That's kind of my take on most of them. Lyric did it to me, you know? Showed me things instead of just warning me. If she hadn't, I'd probably not have survived my first dream. Not all of them are ready to hear about it though.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : if she's going to stick around, she'll listen sooner or later. the ones who don't, they tend to wander. which is fine. safer for them.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Cameron's a keeper, I suspect. Which is good -- she's got a sharp tongue and we can always use more people in city hall.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : Cameron, who's this, I don't know her, can we invite her over for venison steaks and ghost stories

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Isi Cameron. New in town. First Nations, Yakama. You'll like her, she's got the kind of mouth on her that gets your attention right away.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : if she can survive the bitchy queen gauntlet she can make it in this town

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : When do -I- get invited over for venison steaks and ghost stories?

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : boychik! you have but to ask

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Oh, I see how it is, the boys have to -ask-.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : well now just calm down, we can sort it. weather's getting good enough we can eat out on the patio at the shop

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Well, let's make sure to get either of you guys in the same room as Cameron sometime, you can decide if you want to invite her out for venison. Pretty sure she'd go for it but there is no way in hell I'm the one doing the inviting.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : what why not

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Because I'm the single guy in this equation and at the rate people around here think I'm asking other people on dates...

(TXT to Ravn Itzhak) August : okay, that's fair. we'll ask her. I'll ask her. whatever. she'll get an invite which won't be construed as a date.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Figure the last thing she needs is feeling some guy is creeping on her.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : OH she's single too? okay yeah you right

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : I don't -know-, I haven't -asked-. But I assume so since she's new in town.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : ...oy gevalt. actually new as in new new?

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Yeah, came into town a week or two ago. Got a job in accounting in city hall.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Am thinking for her and a few other people, dealing with the shit the Veil throws at them, the crazy people telling them nothing here is really real or not-real -- maybe not a great idea to add figuring out whether the welcome wagon guy is trying to score on top of everything else.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : better let Roen do it then, he's safe

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : So are you, I imagine?

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : I dunno, I don't want I should scare nobody

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : By what, being tall at them? I got you beat in that department, Junior.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : oh it is ON, anvilguard

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Get a chair to stand on, then.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : ladies I'm pretty sure you're both considered tall by most modern standards

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Hey, height is the one thing I've got going for me body-wise, let me have this.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : I would be insulted about being considered safe except it's also demonstrably true. though if I turn into a huge red bear in a Dream too much more people are going to change their minds about that.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : please, you're married and buried. I'm the poly queer here. HEY that rhymed

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Pretty sure that as far as inviting some young, single girl out for a beer, you're the one of us who's got the least creepy stalker vibe going on. Just leave out the part where you turn into a murderbear.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : pffft, married and buried, you're just mad this is off the market

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : 🤣

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Honestly, though, you'll like her. Perdita is another one you might like. She's got a mouth like a sailor and everything is kind of a dirty joke, but she's pretty funny. Used to be a grifter, too.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Actually. Coming to think of it. Remember how we used to joke that there are no women in Gay Harbor? Sure as hell are a lot of them coming into town lately.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : :steak emoji:

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : alright, we'll do some sort of thing somewhere, like the shop, or maybe on the beach. it's warming up again, could do a little beach bonfire sort of deal.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Beach barbecue could be fun. And very -- walk in, walk out, no feeling like you turned up so you have to stay if you feel uncomfortable.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : .... Yes, I bail on social things, ok.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : the shop would be great, the patio out there is awesome. Oh beach would be good too, ...wait, which one is less romantic? Now you got me worried about it, Abildgaard

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : ... How about we leave the neurotic overthinking to me?

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : this is all your fault, I never USED to think about anything

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : you're not alone in that. but yes. the beach is less romantic because like he said you can come and go. shop's a bit more, you know, my turf

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Sorry?

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : This is kind of why I don't date, you know? Can't not overthink shit until it doesn't matter anymore because the chick that was looking my way moved on last week while I was thinking.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : that way you can sneak off too yeah

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : almost wanna make a party out of it except then you wouldn't come

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : >>
<<
I might. I just don't like feeling like I'm at the centre of things. I turned up for karaoke once, didn't I?

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : okay, one time you did!

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : I'm practising. Baba Yaga told me to stop fucking hiding and she's been right about everything else so far. No way in hell I'd have let Bennett drag me into the Casino three months ago, either.

(TXT to Ravn Itzhak) August : the time I was dressed up even--the most IMPORTANT time

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Please always be, make people look at you and not me.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : well if you INSIST

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : You LIKE attention. Get it ALL.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : If I ever have to make some kind of public appearance in this town I want to do it with you two, Hyacinth Addington and Vyvyan Vydal. I should be effectively invisible.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : can I help it if I'm the most interesting thing in the room?

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Fortunately not.

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : (Not the tallest though).

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : please, that Leon's taller than you

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : hardly, I'm married, that definitely makes you invisible

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : ... And suddenly, there is in fact one reason to consider matrimony that had not previously occurred to me.

(TXT to August Ravn) Itzhak : are you serious? you're not serious are you, a daddy bear with a wedding ring just gets exponentially hotter

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : ... And now I am no longer considering that option.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : but they're not always clear on who it is, so they don't wanna risk it being someone right there, you know?

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Hey, as long as no women turn up with bottles of wine on your boat, you're probably safe.

(TXT to Itzhak Ravn) August : abildgaard, you are many things, but a daddy bear is not one of them. I'm not sure at my age you will be either

(TXT to Itzhak August) Ravn : Nah, I know. I'm the Safe Guy, women tell me so regularly.