2021-11-17 - The Secrets That Bind Us

Bennie's expecting Easton and Alexander to return for Seattle any time now, but her restless heart prevented her from staying home and just...waiting. She let Easton know that she and Gunner are down by the beach, a small fire built to stave off the cold. Using the light from the flames, she's writing something on a pad of paper but apparently the contents don't meet her approval because she rips off the page and balls it up, throwing it into the inferno to be engulfed. It's not the first sacrificed note of the evening either.

There was shouting on the drive home, which Alexander didn't really participate in. He mostly hunched, almost apologetically, in the seat, and his fingers worried at his jacket, his pants, the door, and any bits he could reach. As they get to where they park, he does say, "How we gonna break this to her?" Because, y'know, even Alexander realizes that this is probably the sort of thing you need to have a strategy for.

The drive back is tense to say the least. Easton is chain smoking cigarettes, often taking both hands off the wheel for extended times to light the next cigarette. The yelling is punctuated by intense silences and then streams of swear words, many of which are unique to the Marine Corps and make little to no sense to people of average intelligence and above. He shakes his head and says, "We just tell her. We tell her what you saw. We tell her about the lack of blood. And then ..." He doesn't know. Clearly. But oh well, they're here. He pulls the jeep to a stop and can see the fire from where they park.

"Well, this is high on the list of things I hate."

Bennie can see the swing of headlights over the sand and turns around to squint back through the darkness. Gunner gets to his feet and gives a quiet woof of warning, and with her limited senses, she reaches out with her mind to try and ping off the boys and identify them. "Guess this is it, boy." She tells the dog and goes back to writing.

Alexander's brain can be pinged! He accepts the contact, returns it with a brief brush of greeting. "All right," he says, to Easton. "I prefer being forthright." He climbs out of the car, and starts slinking towards the fire. When he gets within conversational distance of the fire, he lifts a hand. "Hey, Bennie." A brief smile to Gunner. "Good dog," he says, warmly.

Easton has his hands buried in the pouch of the hoodie, rubbing his fingers over the ring again and again as if asking it for luck. He still has a cigarette hanging from his lips as he makes his way down the beach and right before he gets close he flicks it into the fire. This leaves his hands free to wrap Bennie up in a bear hug. "Come here." He knows he needs to break the news and he knows it's going to be bad, so he's going to be selfish and steal a moment first.

Bennie drops the pad of paper to the rocky sand at the approach, the words 'I, Bennie Oakes,' scrawled at the top but now forgotten as she greets Alexander with a quiet, "Hey." And then gratefully accepts the hug even as Gunner tries to nose into the middle to get some love too. She relishes a quiet moment of her face tucked against Easton's neck, like the moment has some finality to it. But she knows the moment has to end, so with a soft kiss to Easton's cheek, she pulls away and looks to them with solemn expectancy. "So?"

Alexander does not get a hug, and he's okay with that. He edges closer to the fire, though, looking down at it. "Evidence at the scene doesn't support the idea of your hands and arms being covered in blood; the death wasn't very bloody." There's the good news. "But I found a place to read, and according to the reading, you killed your father." Just rip that band-aid right off. He does, however, add, without looking at her, "I've met Mentalists who can fake a reading before, though. Twist it. And the evidence doesn't quite match. I don't like it."

Easton holds tightly but accepts that it has to end, the suspense has to be weighing on her and he's not going to draw it out for her sake. He noticed the notepad, which is out of the ordinary in that it's not scribbles of flowers and butts or something, or flowers with butts in the middle. He nods at Alexander's take and says, "Bennie, I'm sorry. I was really hoping to find something else, but as of right now, it doesn't look good." He knows there is still hope, like Alexander says, it doesn't add up. He pulls out the ring and says, "We did find this. I know how much it means."

Bennie doesn't realize her hand is clutching Easton's arm, fingers tightening as Alexander explains what he saw at the scene with his mind's eye. A mind's eye he's worried was unfocused. "It..it explains why there was no blood on my clothes." She bites her bottom lip, shaking her head slightly as she takes the ring from Easton before the words bust out of her mouth. "Fuck. FUCK." Screamed out into the night, rivaling the sound of the crash of waves. "It's done. I did it. Just, just let it lie."

Alexander's mouth opens, a stubborn expression settling over his features. But her scream cuts him off before he can muster a coherent defense, a reason why she might be innocent. His mouth closes again, and he kicks some of the sand into the fire - enough to gutter it, but not extinguish. "He was a horrible asshole," Alexander says, quietly. "I saw you two arguing." A pause. "If it'd been me, I probably would have killed him, too."

Easton lets her yell, and his lips even turn up a little at the corners, not because it's terribly funny but because she didn't opt for a cutesy fill-in swear word. He nods and says, "Yeah. It is. This whole fucked up thing." He doesn't trust it, that she's actually going to just let something this massive just rest, but he's quick to agree that he thinks she should. He looks at Alexander with a pained look of /not sure that's helpful/ but it's Alexander so it's also not surprising. "Bennie, I really don't know what to say. This is an awful end to a seriously fucked up relationship that I can't even begin to fathom. I just need you to know that it doesn't change who you are, or anything about our life together."

"I remember closing my fist now." Bennie says with a sort of far away sound to her voice as she dredges through her mind. Her eyes are welling up but still she can't help but smile at their words. "It's over. That's all that matters." And then she makes up her mind about something, and toes the pad of paper and her budding confession with it into the fire. "He deserves the unmarked grave he's going to rot in."

Alexander catches that look from Easton, and ducks his head, shoulders hunching in silent apology. He keeps throwing Bennie little sidelong looks, trying to gauge her reaction without reaching out with his mind. "It's over," he agrees, quietly. He watches that motion of the toe, then watches the fire consume the pad of paper, and with it, the confession. "You're not gonna turn yourself in?" A cautious question, and the investigator's head comes up enough so that he can stare intently at her. It's hard to say whether he approves of this or not; even he looks conflicted about it.

Easton places his hands on Bennie's upper arms, gently rubbing with his thumbs. "Hey it's okay. It is over." All of it. He catches the motion with the notepad but doesn't think much of it and certainly misses the significance of it. He nods and says, "He has earned a complete and utter lack of anyone caring a fuckshit about him." Yes, a fuckshit. He looks at Alexander and starts to wince, but it is a very fair question and they might as well get it out now. "Bennie. Please tell me you're not going to do that." He needs her to know what he thinks before she answers. He's not just supporting what she wants to do here, he has a very clear opinion about it.

"I was." Bennie responds plainly, "At first, it started out as a Dear John letter, but I knew whatever happened you would stand by me, Easton. Then I tried to write out a confession, tied up in a bow and hand it to de la Vega. I was ready, resigned. But standing here now, with the both of you? My one true and my best friend in the world? I have to stay here. Keep fighting along side you. I'm not good to anyone locked behind bars."

"Statistically speaking, very few people who commit crimes of passion go on to reoffend," Alexander mutters, thus proving that he is the worst at reassuring people. He stares at Bennie, sadly, for a moment longer, then nods, his hair flopping a little into his face. "Good," he says. "You don't belong in prison. I believe that. You're good. You will continue to be good." If it sounds a little like he's telling himself that more than either of them, well. At least he's not trying to change her mind?

"That and you are far too pretty for prison. I've seen Orange is the New Black, it wouldn't go well." Easton tries to crack a joke but his heart is clearly not in it. It's too raw and worried that she might actually do something like that still. "And I'm pretty sure de la Vega would just lose anything you tried to hand him. He's awfully forgetful sometimes." Easton stops talking to look at her in the eye, seriously.

"But the crime shouldn't go unpunished. I read that book. I think." Bennie's eyes are clouded again, "Sorry I let you down." She tells Alexander then turns to meet Easton's gaze. "I'd make a fantastic lesbian. I'm a very giving lover." Because it's easier to joke, even if it falls a little flat. She flicks her gaze down to her palm, juggling the ring loosely in its confines. "E, would you mind?" She looks from the piece of jewelry then out to the sea.

It's her first sentence, and not her second, that eases a bit of the tension in Alexander's shoulders. "There can be punishment. If you want," he says, flatly. "I can show you how it felt. What you did." Assuming, y'know, Easton doesn't just shoot him right there for suggesting such a thing. But he's watching Bennie, mostly, rather than the Marine, and there's a certain distant coldness in his face that says he's absolutely willing to do what he just offered. Not enjoy it, but Alexander knows about punishing people. About correcting people.

"You would make an extremely hot lesbian, for sure." Easton agrees with as much humor as he can muster. He shakes his head at the thought, "You didn't let anyone down. I highly doubt anyone could have controlled themselves in that situation. Unless they were actually a marshmallow." His head snaps over to Alexander and he flat out glares, "No. We are not doing self-flagellation shit." To Bennie he says, "That is not happening." He doesn't look back at Alexander but he can probably still feel the glare.

He takes the ring and looks at her with up-turned eyebrows, "You sure?" He holds in the palm of his hand. And with her consent, he sends the ring flying with a throw first and then his powers take it farther than that, a light taking it our hundreds of yards, it falls like a shooting star but with a tiny far off splash.

Bennie's mouth opens, about to jump on the idea presented by Alexander, but then Easton is giving his rather glaring opinion on the fact and then asking if she's sure. A little nod is given, "I need to let go." And he sends it sailing in a beautiful tribute. J & B Forever, put to rest.

"Will you tell me? What I did?"

Alexander meets the glare without his usual deference. He doesn't glare back, but his face has that strange emptiness to it, like a different person is staring back. His eyes flick to watch the ring go sailing through the air, far out to the dark sea. "There's a value in understanding. What you do. What you can do. So you can learn to stop yourself," he tells Easton, voice soft, barely audible.

And when Bennie asks, Alexander answers. "You snapped his tendons. Took him down to his knees in front of you. Then you crushed his chest from the inside. Bones, organs, everything. Like the fist of God closing around m--him." Trust now to be the time that Alexander gets poetic.

"Okay" Easton agrees and watches the ring sail out to the sea. He knows it used to mean something but fully understands if that 'something' has now changed.

At Alexander's words he has to clench his jaw not to snap at him. "Understandable." It's clearly not what he wants to say to him about that. And then Alexander gets very detailed and poetic and Easton flat out runs his hands down his face, "For fuck's sake.. why?" He sighs and reopens his eyes, "He's dead Benz. You killed him because he was quite possibly the worst human being to come out of that trailer park, and he deserved it."

Bennie needs to sit down after that, or rather gravity takes over when her knees go weak and she sinks to the rocky sand with a hand reached out to steady herself on Easton's arm. She did that. "It's okay, Easton. I wanted to know." She responds in a shaky voice, "I..you went through that too, didn't you Alexander?" She can't look at him now, just the fire.

Alexander turns his attention back to Easton. "Because the last healer I really trusted--." His eyes flick back to Bennie as her knees go weak. He takes a half step forward, then stops. Shrugs. "Not like that," he says, flat. "Zachary preferred cutting and skinning. Washed in the blood. Metaphor. Easier to heal afterwards, too." His smile is brief, without humor. "Remember what you're capable of, Bennie. The hurt you can do. I agree with Easton. He deserved it. He was a complete asshole, and if he had any redeeming quality, I have yet to see it. But now you know that you can do that to another person. Out of anger, not to protect yourself." He looks down. "I wish you didn't. That's all."

Easton know about Alexander's past. They've talked at least some about it so he understands, especially when Alexander makes it even more clear. "I'm sorry, but that's..." He wants to cut off Alexander and protest it's different, but there is a part of him that also understands where he's coming from. He lets Bennie hold his hand as she sinks down. He awkwardly and painfully squats down next to her. "Don't worry about Alexander, he's tough. He'll be here over explaining every gory detail of crime scenes for a long time, you won't scare him off." There is fondness in his voice when he assures Bennie that no permanent harm was done to A.Clay.

Bennie knuckles at her eye, likely knocking away a tear. "You've both been through so much for me. And now I'm asking you to do the unthinkable, by shouldering this...secret." Despite the heat from the fire, the blonde gravitates towards the comfort of Easton, turning her nose towards his sleeve to find even the smell of chain smoking on the fabric comforting.

"I'm tough," Alexander agrees. "We're still friends, Bennie. And you have my secrets, and now I have one of yours. We're friends. That's what we do, when we need to." He takes a deep breath, and watches the two of them, the firelight and shadows making his expression hard to really read. "You don't get to blame yourself for something we choose to do. And you didn't ask. We just did. Do. Will." A soft, irritated noise. "Whatever."

"The unthinkable would be asking me to let you go to prison. This is nothing." Easton firmly but not unkindly tells her, ignoring her use of his sleeve as a tissue. "I mean you know all about my past and my secrets and the weird bald patch on my left ass cheek." Easton does love to slip in a bit of levity where he can. He nods at Alexander, "Exactly, you're not asking and we're glad to do it. Because we love you."

There is a joke about conjugal visits somewhere in there, but Bennie just can't make it right now. "I love you guys too." She takes a deep breath, steadying herself. "I think we all need some sleep."

"I didn't need to know about the weird bald patch," Alexander tells Easton. "For the record. I didn't. But now I'll never forget." It's deadpan enough that it's hard to tell if he's trying (badly) to participate in the joking, or absolutely serious. "Sleep would be a good thing," he says, after a moment. "Take care of each other. Easton. Bennie. Okay? Don't die. Be good." He turns, then, and walks into the darkness without another word.

Easton just laughs off Alexander knowing about the little bald patch, one of his odder scars from the accident that really does just look like a bald patch. He grunts and says, "Yes sleep. And we can both call in tomorrow and fuck around doing nothing but eating junk food and taking naps and whatever the hell you want." He thinks about it for a second and adds, "Unless you need to go kick ass and save some lives. I'm pretty sure the drunks of Gray Harbor will survive without me there to cheer them on."

Bennie watches Alexander walk off into the darkness, wanting to reach out to him. Hug him. Thank him. But sometimes it's better just to let him go. Her sad eyes are accompanied with a sad smile given to Easton. "There's nothing in the world I want more right now than junk food and a Die Hard marathon. And maybe a blanket fort." She stands, dusting off her pants and kicking out the fire before making a kissy noise at Gunner. "C'mon. Let's go home."