2021-11-26 - Turkey Terror!

Addington Park is decorated for Thanksgiving. There are bales of hay, which have been crowned with pumpkins and gourds of various sizes. Harvest displays are all over, including an unusual number of turkey statues. The biggest is at least eight feet tall, made of paper mache. But there are at least a dozen other carved wood turkey statues all over the park, strutting their stuff and getting poked, prodded, and ridden by small children.

The weather is beautiful; it's late afternoon, and the sun is out, a crisp wind is blowing, and Alexander has just left holiday dinner at his parents' house, so he's walking a little slow and sleepy, trudging through the park trails towards where it meets up with residential roads heading for Elm Street. He's actually dressed like a real boy: a button down shirt, neatly ironed, in a nice shade of blue, a dark blue blazer, and ironed slacks. But when he gets close to the really big turkey statue, he slows down and gives it a look. And a frown. Birds should not be larger than he is, even if they're not real.

Thanksgiving Eve is one of the biggest nights for bars, as such Easton has never made much of the actual Thanksgiving day. He and Bennie celebrated it quietly with food all made by someone else and delivered in happy little foil packages. He's only walking through the park because they needed more coffee for nightcaps and somehow had run out. So Easton spent some time tracking down a gas station that is still open and selling foodstuffs and is now making his way back across the park. He's walking stiffly in a pair of warm-up pants, a big over-sized Black Rifle Coffee hoodie and knit Patriots hat pulled down over his ears. He doesn't see Alexander but he does see a kid totally bite it off a turkey which makes him stifle a laugh into a cough after a disapproving look from their parent.

Gail has a beautiful old embroidered purse over her shoulder, and a neat pea-coat that was probably fashionable about three decades ago. (Back when they made clothing worth KEEPING. Ask granny about her opinions on Fast Fashion some time.) To top it off she had a large sunhad with flowers and ribbon upon it. She couldn't look more old if she tried. Her only saving grace is the smile upon her lips as she walks. "California never had this kind of flavor," she announces upon a deep breath, like she could just take the ambiance IN. Yes, she is talking to both Easton and Alexander at once, a bridge between them.

Easton's looking in that direction, and he might notice that when he laughs, and the parent turns to glare at him, the turkey -- the wooden turkey -- reaches down and gives the sprawled kid a sharp peck on the back of the leg. The kid immediately wails in shock and pain, and the parent turns back. "Mum! Mum! It bit me!"

The mother makes an exasperated noise. "Oh, there must be splinters. C'mon, Travis, let's go." She ignores the kid's insistence that no, it BIT HIM, and hauls him away.

Alexander turns at Gail's words, and frowns at the older woman. He doesn't seem to have noticed anything odd, yet. "But it probably had more taste," he says, voice dry. Then adds, almost reluctantly, "Hi, Mrs. Leigh. Happy holidays."

Easton looks at the turkey and it biting the kid and shakes his head, "Yeah, and you deserved it." Because wooden statues biting kids is weird, but Easton still approves of it. Especially American kids who call their mother 'mum'. Easton can feel that spoilt in his bones.

Turning to the older woman, Easton blinks at her, not recognizing her even if he did know her once upon a time in his younger years. He doesn't comment about it about California. But once Alexander actually says her name, something like recognition flashes across his face and he nods, "Ma'am." And then to Alexander he complains, "I swear if zombie turkeys start throwing cranberry sauce bombs I'm just going to burn this town down." He's had a holiday experience in the park before and really now he's just kicking himself for not remembering to avoid the park around any holiday.

There's a totally-not-a-cop-car parked on the street, near the entrance to the park. The driver's side door's popped open, and one of the officers has gone for a walkabout to fetch himself a latte or something from one of the vendors set up in the park. The other cop, Gray Harbour's very own grizzled old Chief of Police, is leaned against the side of the vehicle and smoking a cigarette while he scrolls through his Friendzone feed. He's technically off duty now, so he's allowed. Thank you very much.

The approaching trio are glanced at for a few moments, then offered a little nod in greeting. "Hola," as some ash is flicked off his smoke.

Poor Ruiz, here comes someone who will utterly ruin the Chief's attempt to pass for straight. Boyfriend #2, the blond one. Joe's in his heavy great coat, black watch cap, old jeans....and he's a little drunk, by the look of things. It's not terribly obvious, but there's that pink flush on his cheeks and the suspicious brightness in the blue eyes, as he heads right for Ruiz. "Hey, sugar," he says, cheerfully. "Man, they got you out on the streets tonight of all nights? Lotta domestic disputes goin' down, I bet." He hasn't yet noticed that some of the turkeys have decided to come to life and resent the day of their destruction.

Gail's eyes fix first on that turkey and she tisks. A finger gets pointed at the turkey and is then shaken. "That was quite rude."

But, no blood, no fowl. (Yes, Pun Intended.) She beams when Alexander replies to her, and practically glows when Easton does the same. "Easton Marshall as I live in breathe. It is such a delight to see all the young faces that remain! And our good Chief of Police de la Vega." Everything about this is just lovely okay. LOVELY.

More turkey heads turn towards Easton when he says that the kid deserved it. They seem to decide that Easton is mocking them, because wooden tail feathers start to rattle. Alexander smiles brightly when Easton talks. "Zombie turkeys? This is why you have to eat all the turkey." He hasn't noticed that this is not a theoretical complaint, yet.

He also hasn't noticed that the eight foot paper mache turkey statue behind him is turning its head very slowly to stare at the back of his head. And it's growing...bigger. More solid looking by the moment. For that matter, so are the smaller turkey statues. And they're edging closer to the three who are in the park proper. Ruiz and Joe, on the edge of the park, don't seem to have been noticed by the foul fowl, just yet. But they can see the birds stalking - which most of the people in the park are oblivious to. A couple of the kids and babies start to cry and wail, but their adults just look baffled as the kids try to explain that the "turkeys are coming, Daddy, the turkeys are coming!"

"Really? Are you thinking you want some of this?" Easton says as the Turkey's start to turn their heads at him. But then he realizes that he sounds a little crazy and he half-explains, "Sorry. The turkeys are getting uppity and I think we all just slipped into a Dream." He then blinks as Gail remembers his name and recognizes him, "I am.. certainly remaining." A not so sure answer to her unexpectedly bright and kind words.

"Gunny!" Rowan calls out as stuffs the bag from the store into his hood pouch which really shouldn't be able to store it but does so seemingly without any problem. In fact he then pulls out a Glock 9MM from that same pouch and says, "Sorry I just need to shoot that giant bird that's about to-" He takes the time to upnod at Joseph in greeting as he goes through his usual pistol movements of unclicking the safety, checking the chamber, etc. "Sup Cavanaugh?"

A huff from the cop when Joe questions what the hell he's doing out here tonight. "You know how it is." His dark eyes slide toward the others chatting nearby, and the giant turkey statue that.. did it just move? He squints slightly. "The, uh. No-one else wants to work this holiday. I said I'd fill in for a couple of the guys.." He trails off, then tosses his cigarette onto the asphalt and grinds it out with the toe of his boot. "The shit you figure's going on over there?"

His hand strays to his own holstered gun as he pushes off the Charger, and he hitches his chin for Joe to follow.

"Marshall, e'enin'," Yep, definitely a few sheets to the wind, this sailor. Joe isn't swaying, at least, but it's ever more clear. The big, crooked grin is only punctuation.....but it fades when he sees the barkeep pull out that Glock. Then he's peering blearily at the turkeys. "I'll be damned," he says, and there's no more easy slur in his voice. Adrenaline has a way of sobering a man up right quick.

And then, as if it were important that he call the creatures' attention away from any hapless children or non-Glimmerers, he puts a hand to his mouth and does a very creditable imitation of a wild turkey calling a challenge to all comers.

"Manners!" Gail replies as the Turkeys don't seem at ~all~ interested in their rudeness. Because of that she hikes her gaudy bag up on her shoulder a little higher, and ties her scarf into place. One wouldn't want to drop anything. Her cane is taken into her hand and she will just start shuffling closer in Easton's direction. It is just good sense to be behind the gun and not in front of or beside it. Granny has more words of wisdom if anyone wants them.

"Do come over here Alexander. It seems that the turkey's have opinions today."

Alexander may not notice the feathered menace behind him, but he does notice Easton pulling that gun. "Wait, what--"

And that's when the turkeys attack. Two of the wooden turkeys fling themselves at Gail and Easton like cannonballs. Easton's able to dodge, although now he has an enraged turkey at his feet. Meanwhile, one turkey slams into Gail's legs, and the older lady goes down in a heap. "Mrs. Leigh!" Alexander shouts. But before he can lunge forward, the big turkey behind him takes a swipe at his head. He throws himself to one side with a curse, the beak missing by an inch. He staggers back gracelessly, one hand going to the small of his back...which has nothing there, because not even Alexander brings a knife to his parents house.

Joe's call goes out, and several of the turkeys turn in that direction. Three break off and start charging Joe and Ruiz, warbling a battle cry, despite the fact that their painted yellow beaks never actually open.

Easton has to awkwardly roll off to the side, keeping his leg out and wincing. And as much as he would love to take the shot, Alexander and Gail are too close and too many moving parts for him to feel comfortable. But what he does feel comfortable with is picking up the smaller wooden turkey at his feet and chucking it at the head of the larger turkey that now looms well above Alexander. It's not quite the fastball he was hoping for but he'll take it.

"That's it. I'm eating more turkey tonight just to spite you. And then I'm buying more just to feed it to my dog. That's right birds. You heard me."

Javier's not far behind the sailor, and whatever the hell he's doing there with his turkey calling. The cop's gun comes out, and he steps wide and barks out a warning to the others to reduce the chance of someone cluttering up his shot. Which he takes once he's sure he has one. It pelts the critter trying to clamber atop Gail, and flings it sideways, splintering pieces off it loudly. He racks the slide and a shiver of electricity starts to form on his skin like smoke, as he tries to track down where those other three critters got to.

He's done more dangerous things, but not stranger, that's for sure. Joe's finally been in town long enough to reach for Glimmer rather than a mundane weapon. It's not like his gun did him much good when he was kidnapped, after all. So he snags one of the little wooden turkeys with his power, and sweeps it up to bash one of the big ones approaching in the head. "Not sure bullets are gonna bother these bastards much," he notes, sounding disgruntled.

Only then Javier blows one to kingdom come. "Well, nevermind me," he says, mildly, with a toss of his head.

Gail is DOWN for the count, but she lived in Gray Harbor for decades. So little things like ~extremities~ are unimportant. She is going to very wisely curl herself as much as her old body can to protect her torso, and head (and by extension, her hat) from major turkey damage. She has a soft spot for Alexander calling her name and helpfully replies, "Yes, yes, I'm fine! I'm fine!" And then she'll stay RIGHT THERE until the turkey moves off.

Or is shot off, this is normal.

Unrolling as the turkey above her splinters she rolls and uses her cane as a crutch to get herself to her feet. "Very nicely done young man," Gail says approvingly. "You all are doing a fine job." Excuse her, she's just going to head towards Ruiz and Joseph now.

It took Alexander a moment to figure out what is going on, but as the shot rings out and splinters (and turkeys) go flying, Alexander falls into a defensive posture, and turns to the Big Paper Turkey. "I knew you were bad!" he shouts, like someone justified. And then he launches himself at it, ducking under a wing and punching with all his strength into its side. His fist actually shatters the paper mache and sinks in up to his forearm.

For a second, he looks triumphant. Then the gravy starts pouring out, and he yelps, "It's got giblets!"

With the immediate 'threat' of the tiny turkey off his legs Easton manages to get to his feet and take a firing stance and take aim at the giant turkey's head. Yes Alexander is right there but Easton's got a clean shot now and the thing just gobble-gobble'd at him so it totally needs to die. The only thing that makes Easton wince before he takes the shot is the fact that it has giblets and gravy pouring out from Alexanders punch... oh well, Alexander can probably shower this off.

"Ma'am, are you doing okay?" He asks of Gail, because the other people in the vicinity he knows have been through much worse.

"Yes yes, just fine!" Gail calls out to Easton as she continues her shuffle towards Ruiz and Joseph. "You just keep taking care of yourself if you please."

Some of the gravy splatters at her and she reaches up and sweeps it off her face, then with the practicality of someone who has seen way too much, she licks that finger clean. "Hum. It needs more salt. I suggest you brine next time!" Note, she's continuing the move away as she tosses back cooking advice at the turkeys.

Coming upon Ruiz and Joseph she shuffles right behind them and asks as an aside to the current action, "Did your gentleman enjoy the spices?" As if this is an every-day occurrence wherein one should talk about things like recipes. "

With Joe undoubtedly able to take care of himself for the time being, de la Vega brings his weapon to bear again and hovers his finger over the trigger. His radio crackles once with a request from dispatch; he ignores it. "I don't quite think--" The gun, at least, is silenced, so the report isn't a deafening thing when it goes off. "--this is the time to talk about spices, senora."

Pleased to see the thing go down in a hail of splintered wood, he drops his hand and jerks his head toward his boyfriend. Then back to Gail. "Why don't you ask him? Once he's, uh. Bebé, ¿necesitas ayuda?" The latter's apparently to Joe.

So, however ludicrous this is, and there is a portion of Joe's mind that does appreciate the humor of it....gunfire's still a trigger for him (pun intended). Watching Alexander punch a monster turkey and be confronted with giblets is a far cry from watching a Marine get his face blown off in Afghanistan....but old memories bubble up enough to tweak him, nonetheless. Not sufficient to make him lose his hold on the present situation, though.

He flashes a wan little grin at Ruiz. "I'm all right, sugar," he informs the cop, affection in his voice. "Jus' fine." Even as he tries to batter the bigger turkey with the smaller again, as he backpedals. The question of the spices doesn't seem to register.

Easton allows a small smile as he blows off half the giant turkey's face but then it starts glaring at him with that one eye and he grimaces. "Oh what are you gonna do, bleed gravy on me too?" He doesn't seem to have much sympathy for Alexander being hit with the oily congealed spray of trimmings. "Clayton are you gonna just massage that thing to death or actually kill it? I mean don't we have a decent healer to roast that bird?" He looks around realizing it's a no go for flame-thrower duty.

The tiny turkey that rushes Easton is easily sidestepped, seeing as it's going for an illusion of him and then he turns to fire a shot off at the back of it's head. "Not today feathers."

The men avoid the Wrath of the Turkeys quite well, without missing a beat. Alexander shoves his arm further into the Giant Turkey's innards, making gagging sounds even as he grabs...something, and yanks it out, to stagger away from the big turkey with his hands dripping with cranberry sauce as he's pulled out a chunk of dark red cranberry sauce that fills both hands. "EASTON SHUT UP! THIS IS DISGUSTING!" he shouts, his expression twisting. And these were his good clothes! He brings his hands together with a burst of rage.

Squish. The Megaturkey stumbles, staggers, and falls over, just as the wooden turkey Easton fires at gets distracted...then a good chunk of its head blown off. All of the wooden turkeys are running around like...well. Like chickens with their heads cut off, okay. The gobbles fill the air with grief and despair.

Gail only recognizes the word 'senora' from Ruiz words, but thank god for the context that Joseph's 'sugar' provides. She clasps her hands together, "Oh this must be your gentleman. It is such a pleasure to meet you finally. Your partner here was such a dear at the grocery store the other way. Quite sweet how he was shopping for you." If it wasn't for Joseph don't tell Granny okay?

Her smile doesn't slip even an ounce as she wrinkles her forehead in concentration until another nice little picture of Easton and Joseph appear, just a foot or so to their side. "Lovely, lovely," she mutters once for herself. "Dear Alexander, please do try to save some of that for the actual Holiday."

It's like that part in Temple of Doom, only with cranberry sauce instead of a still-beating heart. Joe chokes laughter at the sight...but the idea of trying to set the turkeys on fire is a good one. He's concentrating on that - it's the weakest of his powers.

Gail's comments, however, are distracting. "Oh....oh, you met him in the supermarket," he says, after giving her a blank look. Blond at any age. "And ma'am, I don't know that I've qualified as a gentleman for decades, but you're right, he's a big teddy-bear, isn't he?" .....he just called Ruiz a teddy bear?

Easton grumbles as the turkey runs zig zag patterns around children and parents who are still too dumb to do something useful like run away. "Get back here you little shit so I can fucking kill yo.." He trails off and has to explain, "Sorry ma'am. No, I'm not talking to your darling child. I'm not.. Oh look isn't that the police chief?" He all but shoves the woman in Ruiz's direction so he can continue to stalk the erratic bird through the park. It seems intent on running away or at least making Easton work for his kill. But a few moments later there is a gunshot and a call of "Got it!" from farther away in the park.

Ruiz doesn't have fire at his disposal, but what he does have is lightning. A flick of his fingers, and one of the remaining turkeys is riddled with electricity. And Joe's given a mighty scowl for his teddy bear comment, as he shoves his gun away in its holster. "The spices. She's asking about the spices," he reminds him with an arch look.

"Easton Marshall - watch your language, there are children!" Gail calls out at Easton's back when he goes in the direction that is not closer-to-them. She would tisk more, but there are important things to do right now. Like,

"Yes, he was quite kind. I am afraid I have shrunk just a smidgen in my years." Is she distracting, is she REALLY? None the less, she continues. "You are a lucky man to have such a doting partner. Did you like the spices? Oh Alexander," her attention slides to the gravy and gibbet covered Alexander. She goes into her purse and rummages around until she comes out with a neatly folded linen square of fabric she can hold out to him. For cleaning up.

Some say the world will in fire, others in ice. But these turkeys? They end in a far-off gunshot, and then a zap of electricity and a fwoosh of fire. OH THE BIRDDOM. In the end, the remaining four find themselves looking around in a Park that has been almost emptied of people, except for a few of the dense or very confused. All the wooden turkey statues, and the big paper mache turkey are back in their places, unhurt, but somehow looking smug.

And Alexander is still covered in turkey gravy. He morosely takes the offered square of fabric, and cleans off his face, first, then tries to get what he can from the cranberry stains on his hands. "I hate this fucking town," he mutters, to all of them and none of them at once.

She's an older lady. And he may be old enough to be a grandfather himself....but it makes the manners his female relatives inculcated kick in. "They were lovely, ma'am. He's a wonderful cook, but I try and pay him back a little bit, now and again," Joe replies, giving her his best "good ol' boy" smile. "I'm so lucky." He turns a melting look on Javier.

Only after a moment or two of gazing adoringly at the tattooed cop does he look around to see what the casualties are. "Yeah, it suck, don't it?" he agrees with Alexander.

Aaaaand that's Javier's cue to point out that he's, "got to get back to the station." Joe's shoulder is given a firm clasp, and he holds his gaze a beat longer than a pair of strictly heterosexual buddies probably would. Just in case Gail had any lingering doubts there. Then he tugs his baseball cap a little lower in farewell to the older woman, and grimaces at the sight of Alexander covered in gravy and cranberry sauce over there. "Catch you later, Clayton," he calls out, then turns to mosey off right as his partner shows up with a latte and a confused look on his face.

"No you don't sweetie," Gail replies at Alexander with pity at his state. "It is quite boring outside and you would miss it. Now, I know just the thing." This announced firmly and with the air of 'don't you dare tell me no.'

"I have told my daughters it is much too soon for them to visit, but I still intend to lay a proper thanksgiving table. You just come over and put your teeth about a nice bird and see if that doesn't buck up your spirits." Her gaze flips back o Joseph and Ruiz. Joseph gets BEAMED at for liking the spices, never mind if he didn't actually, she is taking him at FACE VALUE. "All of you are welcome. It is a poor holiday to spend alone. Do tell your friends they are also welcome." This way, if Ruiz shows up with a harem, it is OKAY.

RUIZ SHE SAID THAT WHILE YOU WERE STILL IN EARSHOT.

"I have never missed Gray Harbor," Alexander mutters to Gail. He gives a brief, agreeing nod to Joseph-- then seems to realize who he's agreeing with, and takes a couple of quick steps back from Joseph and Ruiz, his shoulders hunching like he expects a fight to start. Even the see you later is just given a wary sort of grunt.

But Gail is invite-ordering him to dinner. He stares at her for a moment. Then says, "No." A look down at the stained hankie. "I'll...get this washed and give it back when I come by to get the gutters clean," he says to Gail. "Happy holidays," is thrown out to no one in particular, and then he starts backing away to retreat from all of them, slinking back towards Elm street.

So that he can shower. For days.