2022-02-22 - So About Last Night

(TXT to Una Ariadne) Ravn : Yes, I know it's very early. Are you both all right? That was -- let's just say my ribs are sporting all the colours of the rainbow. And I'm pretty certain I can't actually marry anyone.

(TXT to Ravn Una) Ariadne : My tailbone hates me and I have a tater-shaped bruise. That must have been real somehow. What the hell. I need more and better wine. Una, you okay? I remember you got thrown too.

(TXT to Ariadne Ravn) Una : Owowowowowow. OW. I remember now why I was never one of those pony club girls.

(TXT to Ariadne Ravn) Una : But I'm alive. And not married. So. Yay?

(TXT to Una Ariadne) Ravn : I mean, I'll attend the wedding if you two want to re-do your vows, but maybe not from the pulpit.

(TXT to Una Ariadne) Ravn : (I do wonder where my donkey went. I hope she had a good time there).

(TXT to Ravn Una) Ariadne : I'm not married either, so I guess we're safe. Maybe your donkey went to the horses' wedding instead, Ravn. There was probably better wine there.

(TXT to Una Ariadne) Ravn : Heaven knows that Castello de Padre Jackass wasn't worth drinking.

(TXT to Ariadne Ravn) Una : That wine is probably the reason I feel like the horse kicked me in the head, too. It didn't, though, right?

(TXT to Ravn Una) Ariadne : It made my Little Penguin cab seem like a $100 bottle in comparison. Ugh. Nobody got kicked in the head that I saw, thank god. I'd be really panicking instead wanting three Aleve and a spa day.

(TXT to Una Ariadne) Ravn : Still pretty damn sure that those really crazy 'story' dreams are made up by someone who doesn't actually know how adult things work. Like that wine. It tasted like you'd expect if you're ten years old and drink a bottle of your father's wine to find out what all the fuss is about. It tastes awful and you're horribly sick the day after. Not that I'd be talking from personal experience, of course. Asking for a friend who is definitely myself.

(TXT to Ravn Una) Ariadne : Now I'm wondering how your ten year-old self managed an entire bottle and I don't want to be impressed but I am.

(TXT to Una Ariadne) Ravn : I probably didn't. I just remember it that way.

(TXT to Ariadne Ravn) Una : Ok, gross.

(TXT to Una Ariadne) Ravn : Remind me to tell you about the Robin Hood dreams sometime.

(TXT to Una Ariadne) Ravn : Or rather, the Perdita Hood dreams. In which I am Maid Marian.

(TXT to Ravn Una) Ariadne : I imagine it was like drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth. NO WAY, RAVN. Okay, no, you need to drop in, I need to hear these things. Una, come by too, coffee for you.

(TXT to Una Ariadne) Ravn : Coffee at the murder motel? Sounds great.

(TXT to Ravn Una) Ariadne : I meant the café, but if you can handle this place and a pastry which came out of a crinkly plastic bag, name the time.

(TXT to Una Ariadne) Ravn : Haha -- no, if there's any chance of proper coffee I'll take the café any time. I can't stand the motel -- there's always some guy in an open polyester shirt and an afro, trying to sell me pot. I've told him several times it's 2022 and he's been dead at least forty years but it's not as if he cares.

(TXT to Ariadne Ravn) Una : I am always up for coffee. Preferably not murder motel coffee.

(TXT to Una Ariadne) Ravn : Do I have to make Una buy it for me, or do I get black?

(TXT to Ravn Una) Ariadne : It depends on whether or not you're one calorie not evil enough. Una was dashing and all but swept me off my feet. 😆

(TXT to Una Ariadne) Ravn : Did you really want your local gropey priest to sweep you off your feet? Just asking.

(TXT to Ariadne Ravn) Una : I for one appreciate your restraint in focusing your attention on Hammerhead whatsherface, Ravn.

(TXT to Ariadne Ravn) Una : More Ariadne for me.

(TXT to Ariadne Ravn) Una : I can't believe I just typed that.

(TXT to Ravn Una) Ariadne : Whoever was driving that ride didn't want you to, Darth Bathrobes, so I guess not, heh. LOL, Una. omg I'd forgotten about Hammerhead Hallie.

(TXT to Una Ariadne) Ravn : I think I'll just stay celibate, in 1820 and now. 😆

(TXT to Ravn Una) Ariadne : Good call, she probably would've bitten you anyways.

(TXT to Ravn Ariadne) Una : Yeah, I wouldn't touch her either.

(TXT to Una Ariadne) Ravn : Some of my best friends -- no, actually, the one time I went to the local strip club here, someone thought I was an undercover cop and threatened to stab me.

(TXT to Ravn Una) Ariadne : Not a kink I'd be into, honestly.

(TXT to Una Ariadne) Ravn : I've been stabbed. I'm not eager to repeat the experience.

(TXT to Ravn Una) Ariadne : Well, how rude of that other person.

(TXT to Ravn Ariadne) Una : I am pro people not being stabbed.

(TXT to Una Ariadne) Ravn : Me three. It's hard on the leather jackets.

(TXT to Una Ariadne) Ravn : I think I'll shower and run a razor past my face, try to achieve some sort of resemblance that does not scream 'hungover zombie', and then make my way down past your work, Ariadne. We can look post-wine sick together there, all three of us.

(TXT to Ravn Una) Ariadne : Yep, come on down, there's crappy coffee and bag-pastries and maybe I'll wear jeans instead of sweatpants and look like I'm functional before I want to be.