2020-08-02 - Better Texting Through Chemistry

(TXT to Alexander) August : the food at this place is fucking awful

(TXT to Alexander) August : I assumed bennie was exaggerating because she works here

(TXT to Alexander) August : you've been here how many times and never warned me? I thought we were friends

(TXT to August) Alexander : The Two if By Sea isn't that bad? It's just greasy.

(TXT to Alexander) August : no the hospital

(TXT to August) Alexander : why are you in the hospital? Why are YOU in the hospital?

(TXT to Itzhak) August : I need food that's not gross. I'm dying, they even make bad jello

(TXT to Alexander) August : I got stabbed

(TXT to August) Alexander : by who? Are they dead?

(TXT to Alexander) August : in a church, who stabs someone in a church? isn't that sort of 'do not pass go, straight to hell do not collect $200' thing for christians

(TXT to Alexander) August : I guess maybe he wasn't christian. ruiz brought me flowers, it could be worse.

(TXT to August) Alexander : Last time i went to church, someone tried to make Isabella into a battery. Churches are bad.

(TXT to August) Alexander : But that was nice of Javier.

(TXT to Alexander) August : yes, that bartender who can't actually bartend blew his brains out all over me

(TXT to Alexander) August : going to agree that churches are bad, this is why I am being married on a farm, outside, tyvm

(TXT to August) Alexander : I don't know who that is. But are you going to be okay?

(TXT to Alexander) August : but he also shot her. so he had a gun, and a knife, in church

(TXT to August) Alexander : Naughty.

(TXT to Alexander) August : there are weird statues there, btw

(TXT to Alexander) August : they shine. maybe read one? I was too busy bleeding

(TXT to August) Alexander : I'll try to get over there at some point.

(TXT to Ruiz) August : btw thank you for the flowers. also this place has bad food so please don't get yourself hurt and stuck here, jfc they can't even get hello right

(TXT to Alexander) August : just keep an eye out for guns. and knives.

(TXT to Alexander) August : and the enw guy. the new guy was there. rowan. or...however that's actually spelled, he's scandinavian like my dad's family and they don't spell shit like it's proounced

(TXT to August) Alexander : I will. And the guy with the accent? I think I met him at a thrift shop. He should go away.

(TXT to Alexander) August : go away, why? he's like the one person who can actually prounce my last name

(TXT to August) Alexander : Because GH is terrible and I keep hoping people won't get stuck here. But they do.

(TXT to Alexander) August : awh honey you're just trying to bail out the ocean with a teaspoon, don't exhaust yourself that way

(TXT to August) Alexander : I have several Sisyphean tasks. That is only one.

(TXT to Alexander) August : at least they didn't have to replace the implants. I was worried about that.

(TXT to August) Alexander : Jesus, August. Where did he stab you?

(TXT to Alexander) August : if you were sisyphus you could just mind control someone into rolling the riock for you

(TXT to August) Alexander : That would be mean.

(TXT to Alexander) August : the bad shoulder. 5050 chance

(TXT to August) Alexander : ::frowny face emoji:: I'm sorry.

(TXT to Alexander) August : it would but it would get rid of one task and if they had the moving art then they'd just punt it right

(TXT to August) Alexander : It's not their task, though. You can't just make other people do your work.

(TXT to Alexander) August : this is a foolproof idea, what other ocean-bailing shit are you up to, let's work the problem

(TXT to Alexander) August : ugh are you guilt-tripping me, I am hi on oxy in the hospital, that's rude

(TXT to August) Alexander : I'm not taking life advice from someone who is probably hooked up to an IV of drugs right now.

(TXT to August) Alexander : I am often rude.

(TXT to Alexander) August : are you suggesting life advice is better from sober people

(TXT to Alexander) August : because I've got news

(TXT to August) Alexander : Life advice is better from sober people, yes.

(TXT to Alexander) August : how so, they're in pain and unhappy and hate everything

(TXT to Alexander) August : listen though this is important

(TXT to August) Alexander : Not always. You're not always unhappy when you're sober.

(TXT to Alexander) August : pretty sure that guy was after itzhak and the rest of us just got in the way

(TXT to Alexander) August : your logic has no place in my pain killer fueled fantasy

(TXT to August) Alexander : I'm gonna enjoy when you read back on this log later. And why Itz

(TXT to August) Alexander : Oh. Javier.

(TXT to Alexander) August : bingo

(TXT to Alexander) August : read back, I am blanking it even now

(TXT to August) Alexander : I'll keep a copy.

(TXT to August) Alexander : also fuck

(TXT to Alexander) August : you're cruel to a man in pain

(TXT to August) Alexander : Not the first time I've heard that today.

(TXT to Alexander) August : well theoretically in pain, in reality I feel like a sentient balloon with hands tethered to a body in a bed

(TXT to August) Alexander : That's probably for the best, honestly.

(TXT to Alexander) August : someone else get hurt too?? it's an epidemic, we're gonna fill this hospital

(TXT to August) Alexander : Yeah. Kinda interrupted a weapons deal. Oops.

(TXT to Alexander) August : totally on accident and without trying you tripped on a crack in the sidewalk and interrupted a weapons deal

(TXT to August) Alexander : I'm not sure it's fair you can be that sarcastic while high.

(TXT to Alexander) August : it's one of my many talents. wait is the person in pain you, do YOU need to be here being tortured by so-called health care professionals and their 'food'

(TXT to August) Alexander : No. I'm fine. Just a guy bleeding on my couch. I patched him up.

(TXT to Alexander) August : that's not how you use the word 'just'

(TXT to August) Alexander : He flipped me off. He gets to be a 'just'.

(TXT to Alexander) August : you're omitting a name if it's itzhak I'm going to plotz

(TXT to Alexander) August : okay that's probably not itzhak. and I guess that's fair

(TXT to August) Alexander : Itzhak is not just a guy. He's a friend. This is a guy named Cruz. Kind of an asshole, but I feel guilty.

(TXT to Alexander) August : oh him. the guy with an enormous spank bank

(TXT to August) Alexander : what

(TXT to Alexander) August : he can be an asshole but it's just a thinly veiled excuse to hide how he doesn't know how to interact with people it's not a big deal

(TXT to August) Alexander : Oh. Now I feel more guilty.

(TXT to Alexander) August : eh, if he didn't need to come here he'll live

(TXT to August) Alexander : Yes. He'll live.

(TXT to Alexander) August : but please don't let itzhak go do stupid things alone. I'm stuck in here I can't stop him

(TXT to August) Alexander : I'll try, August. But the urge to do stupid things is pretty strong.

(TXT to Alexander) August : don't I know it

(TXT to Alexander) August : okay I think I am about to fall asleep again but remember: you can mind control someone to move your rock.

(TXT to August) Alexander : Sleep well, August. I'm not going to mind control people.

(TXT to Alexander) August : thier lossd

(TXT to August) Alexander : Dream well, don't break anything. Anybody.

(TXT to Isabella) August : tell alexander he can mind control someone into moving rocks for him he doesn't have to do it himself

(TXT to August) Isabella : Wait, what? What about rocks. Have you been getting into the dryad juice again?

(TXT to Isabella) August : this hospital garbage has nothing on the dryad juice

(TXT to Isabella) August : alexander has too many impossible tasks, I told him to mind control people into helping him but he laid a guilt trip on me which was RUDE by the way

(TXT to Isabella) August : so just make sure he stops trying to bail out the ocean with a teaspoob

(TXT to Isabella) August : SPOON that was bennie's fault for talking about the bartenders boobs

(TXT to August) Isabella : Oh my god why are you encouraging him to mind control people, if he started doing that nobody is safe. Doesn't answer my question about rocks though. Does he need help moving them? Is he doing extreme gardening?

(TXT to Isabella) August : something about trying to make the new guy leave town

(TXT to Alexander) Isabella : Are you doing extreme gardening?

(TXT to Isabella) August : I am on numerous pain meds and antiinflamatories and under strict orders to not use my left shoulder

(TXT to August) Isabella : August wtf happened? Did a tree try to kill you again?

(TXT to Isabella) August : because someone had a knife in church who brings a knife to church????

(TXT to Isabella) August : I guess alexander does and sometimes I do too but we have good reasons

(TXT to August) Isabella : What?! Explain please.

(TXT to Isabella) August : there were statues, in st marys, and a guy was there to attack itzhak and I might have gotten in hthe way and been a little stabbed

(TXT to August) Isabella : Well I'm glad you're alright but jesus christ. Is Itzhak okay?!

(TXT to Isabella) August : yes he's fine. the bartender who can't mix drinks was shot. that new guy and lyric I think were okay. I don't rememebner a lot aftyer thebartender shot him though

(TXT to August) Isabella : Oh my god. I'm so glad you guys are alright. Do you need anything while you're in the hospital?

(TXT to Isabella) August : food that didn't come from here. how could you not warn me about this stuff, the jello tyastes like cardboard

(TXT to Isabella) August : otherwise I'm good, de la vega got me flowers and itzhak got me a stuffed moth, I'm set

(TXT to August) Isabella : Done. I'll see what I can do to sneak you some food. I need to stop by the hospital at some point anyway. Apparently I've got some weird Vivisectionist-induced brain scarring.

(TXT to Isabella) August : oh my god, are you serious? is it like, cancer???

(TXT to August) Isabella : I...I don't know. Lilith showed me her cat scans and she says I have the same thing. I don't know what it means for the both of us.

(TXT to Isabella) August : well fuck. god izzy I'm sorry. does that mean we have to talk to that dissolving asshole again because he was kind of a dick

(TXT to August) Isabella : I think Alexander is all for exhausting our options first before we try and find a consultant in the Veil, god help us.

(TXT to August) Isabella : He already wasn't happy after my stint in Them Prison.

(TXT to Isabella) August : okay when I can actually think let me know how I can help

(TXT to Isabella) August : rightnow all I can think is 'killing her once was too nice'

(TXT to August) Isabella : Yeah I don't regret a gd thing with respect to that. I'll see you soon with food, though, and concentrate on getting better first.

(TXT to Isabella) August : okay, sorry if I'm asleep when you get here, that's happening a lot

(TXT to Isabella) August : and I am hiding my phone so no one tries to steal it

(TXT to August) Isabella : No worries, I'll get you something delicious you can eat cold.

(TXT to Ruiz) August : I hid my phone so you can't make eleanor take it from me so don't try

(TXT to August) Ruiz : It's a fucking hospital of course the food is shit, Roen, what did you think? You were going to wind up at the French fucking Laundry?

(TXT to August) Ruiz : And what did you do that I'd need to get your fiancee to take your phone away

(TXT to Ruiz) August : there's bad and then there's this. this is criminal. it's hampering people's wellness.

(TXT to Ruiz) August : nothing. that's why you shouldn't try

(TXT to August) Ruiz : Are you high?

(TXT to Ruiz) August : no.

(TXT to Ruiz) August : yes

(TXT to Ruiz) August : the jury is out

(TXT to August) Ruiz : You're high, old man. You'd only text me with this shit if you were high. who else are you telling dumb shit to?

(TXT to Ruiz) August : are you asking me to incriminate myself, I thought that was a thing you couldn't do

(TXT to August) Ruiz : Maybe a little

(TXT to Ruiz) August : in that case no one just you

(TXT to August) Ruiz : Bullshit.

(TXT to August) Ruiz : If it's a dick pic, don't bother

(TXT to August) Ruiz : Fuck. that was.. that was not intended for you

(TXT to Ruiz) August : sorry my dick pics have only a single recipient now you're a couple years late on that

(TXT to Ruiz) August : I can give you a 'half dead in a hospital bed pic' how's that

(TXT to August) Ruiz : I don't want your goddamn dick pics. or anyone's, for that matter. don't you read?

(TXT to Ruiz) August : I suspect you are lying because if I had hold of your phone for 30 seconds I could find dick picks from a certain someone

(TXT to Ruiz) August : ::pic of August laying in his hospital bed, complete with silkmoth plush, irises in a vase--they look a lot bigger and fuller--and the wall behind his bed which looks more damaged now::

(TXT to August) Ruiz : I refuse to discuss my fucking sex life with you, Roen

(TXT to Ruiz) August : not evenw ghile I'm high on oxy?? god

(TXT to August) Ruiz : And what the fuck did you do to that wall? Don't make me come back in there

(TXT to Ruiz) August : it's fine, someone just startled me and I opanicked, I'll just fix it once ellie breaks me out

(TXT to August) Ruiz : It's not fine. You keep that up, and the hospital might decide to put you in secure lockup. Or press charges.

(TXT to Ruiz) August : like they know it;'s me and not shoddy construction

(TXT to Ruiz) August : you are being incredibly stern and parental at a man who is on a lot of drugs, I don't know why you think this will come to anything good

(TXT to August) Ruiz : Yeah, god, that shoddy fucking construction in that old guy's room, I swear the wall keeps caving in- don't you fucking interrupt me

(TXT to Ruiz) August : it's a text how can I interrupt a text

(TXT to August) Ruiz : Just quit it

(TXT to Ruiz) August : :: 😛 emoji ::

(TXT to August) Ruiz : And quit making holes in the wall. my ability to smooth things over with the staff'll only go so far.

(TXT to Ruiz) August : I'll just repair it it's dine

(TXT to Ruiz) August : fine

(TXT to August) Ruiz : You keep that up, you're going to have Them knocking on your door with some interesting dreams, Roen.

(TXT to Ruiz) August : They can come and fucking get it

(TXT to Itzhak Joseph) August : de la vega is trying to tell me he never wants dick pics I think this is bullshit and a LIE and I expect you two to call him to the carpet on this