2022-03-16 - Coping Mechanisms

(TXT to Ravn Perdita Ariadne) Una : So... that was a night.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : I'm not watching The Maltese Falcon soon.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : Still not 100% sure I understand what went down. WTF with the falcons?!

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : We don't know. Perdita and I saw it before -- in another Dream, where someone walking with a falcon headed cane shot a Nazi.

(TXT to Perdita Una Ravn) Ariadne : I report Sam is actually a dog and my shoulder really hurts and seriously, I'm going to flinch the next time I see a falcon symbol anywhere.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : Props to the assassin.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : Ouch.

(TXT to Perdita Una Ravn) Ariadne : I dunno, whoever brought the chandelier down, I got mad Phantom of the Opera vibes.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : Pleased to report my legs are not burnt, and I did not sprain an ankle in those damn heels.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : LOL I was thinking that too.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : Wasn't me. I didn't think that far. I panicked a bit -- I thought to dispose of the ring I was given. Maybe that's why it ended -- if the idea was to incriminate us, or something.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : Comforting.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : Totes not creepy at all. Also, there was something about my lipstick and I never figured it out. Am I a bad person for being disappointed that I never figured it out?

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : Please don't say that. No unresolved threads. It's OVER.

(TXT to Perdita Una Ravn) Ariadne : KIDDING IT WILL FOREVER REMAIN A MYSTERY

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : ... We'll know about the lipstick before summer. Calling it.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : DAMN IT.

(TXT to Perdita Una Ravn) Ariadne : Una, he's tempting fate! No more cookies for him!

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : I see this! I note this. I mean, not that he eats the cookies anyway. He just plays with them.

(TXT to Perdita Una Ravn) Ariadne : Look, it's too late at night to be saying things like 'playing with cookies.'

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : ... I eat them. Slowly.

(TXT to Perdita Una Ravn) Ariadne : I can't decide whether or not I inhaled my tea or my own spit there.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : I would send you a picture of my scoffing face, but no one needs to see my bedhead.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : COOKIES. I EAT THEM. SLOWLY. THEY ARE COOKIES. NOT INNUENDOOKIES.

(TXT to Perdita Una Ravn) Ariadne : Sam is staring me, I'm laughing so hard lolololol

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : 😆 😆 😆

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : Look, I'm a slow eater. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy them.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : SNIFF. Suuuuuuure, suuure. Fine. I'll believe you.

(TXT to Perdita Una Ravn) Ariadne : My brain is stuck, halp, lolololol

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : ... We really need to get her a boyfriend. Girlfriend. Whatever she prefers-friend.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : I'm not sure we are best suited to that task.

(TXT to Perdita Una Ravn) Ariadne : LOLOLOLOL

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : Hazarding a guess here.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : We may not be the town's number one dating agency, granted.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : ... Counting the minutes here until Perdita goes I KNOW A GUY IN THE FIRE DEPT

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : I mean... she does!

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : Do you want a guy in the fire department, Ariadne?

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : I return from laughing for a minute straight and Sam is so confused-looking

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : You can apparently get one with a performance review if you're thus inclined.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : OMG YOU GUYS I have to move into my new place first, good lord. 😆 😆 😆

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : All the more reason to get that strapping fireman hunk now, you'll need someone to carry boxes.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : Because you don't want to bring a dude back to the murder motel?

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : Who knows, maybe somebody will get off on the idea of being stared at by my dog who I can't shut away while we make out. I mean, seriously, think about that awkward. 😆

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : Sounds super sexy.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : And I am an expert in sexy.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : I get stared all night by a cat without making out with anyone. There's a kink for everyone.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : Stop making me snort my tea everywhere omg 😆

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : Kitty Pryde just wants you to bring another fish to bed.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : SORRY FOR MAKING YOUR PHONE BLOW UP, PERDITA.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : I am very certain she'd love for me to develop some strange obsession with fish in bed, yes.

(TXT to Perdita Una Ravn) Ariadne : I, for one, can't wait to hear Perdita weigh in on fish-in-bed kinks a la Ravn.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : Oh, my sex life is a running joke in some circles. Or, well, the absence of it. I'm supposedly hilarious to tease about it, mostly because I never get the jokes.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : Poor Ravn.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : I'm reminded of a meme, but my brain is too busy running in circles about the casino stuff to remember it.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : No shit. I absolutely hate those rich people dreams.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : The casino was pretty weird.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : There's nothing like ending up in a situation with no idea why you're there or what you're supposed to be doing. Also rich people stuff, yes.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : I thought we all looked pretty rockin', but that's just me. Just wish nobody had been nearly assassinated.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : Oh, all three of you looked damned fine. It's the crowds I can't stand. All that pretence and snobbery and keeping up appearances. Can't we play dress-up sometime without having to invite the jet set?

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : We can, and we should.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : No assassination attempts or jet set allowed.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : I just -- really hate the whole rich people thing.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : Hey, a nice dinner out is never a bad idea. What's the snazziest place around town that isn't the casino?

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : And yeah, rich people are tiring.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : Well, Sitka is in the hotel but not in the casino proper. Barring that, I think it's the diner or the Firehouse which is a kind of ... slightly fancier diner.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : lol. Sitka it is, I guess.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : I hope Perdita's actually okay. She wasn't injured, was she? She's probably just in the shower or whatever, right?

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : Sitka's the kind of place you should probably turn up in a nice dress but not a haute couture designer creation.

(TXT to Perdita Una Ravn) Ariadne : Yeah, she got hit in the face, I saw that. Major ouch. Anybody live nearby to check in on her? And Sitka, noted!

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : I don't think my waking budget extends to haute couture anyway.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : ... ouch. I missed that.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : Well, no one lives very far away from anyone in Gray Harbor to be fair, but I think she's okay. Might just be she's... you know... busy.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : 'Busy'

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : Look, I'm trying to suggest that she might be snuggling with her boyfriend and if she is, maybe she is explaining a black eye to him and doesn't need the three of us stomping in in the middle of the night to get in the way of the comfort canoodling.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : Gosh, I hope that's the case, it's a good place to be.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : Fair, ok.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : Which obviously doesn't mean we can't include her in plans for a dinner at Sitka, awake.

(TXT to Perdita Una Ravn) Ariadne : All I had is Sam sticking his tongue up my nose because he had to pee at 5am. Totes not sexy or comforting.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : 99.999% sure she'd be down.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : ... that's very less sexy or comforting, yes.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : I have Kitty Pryde telling me to put out the light and stop keeping her awake, which is admittedly not my most intimate fantasy acted out, either.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : I am blissfully alone. Hell yeah.

(TXT to Perdita Una Ravn) Ariadne : What I'm hearing is our pets are buzz-killers. It's a theme, lol

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : What I'm hearing is that all three of us think the idea of a comforting companion sounds nice in theory but at least presently, what we got is needy pets or nothing. Alas, life is hard.

(TXT to Perdita Una Ravn) Ariadne : LOL I shouldn't complain overmuch, he's a very good boy, but tongue up nose at 5am is just gross.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : Basically, yeah.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : ... at least Kitty does not do that.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : I'm not sure I ever want anyone's tongue up my nose, but... you do you.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : But does Kitty Pryde stick her ass in your face? I hear cats do this. LOL UNA OMG

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : Nope. That would mean she has to touch me, and she actually resents men touching her.

(TXT to Perdita Una Ravn) Ariadne : Cats be cattin'. I haven't seen her yet either, I'm starting to think she's a figment of the imagination or something, LOL

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : oh god, wait, the motorcycle, I have, god, my brain

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : I mean, I know she's kind of sort of a ghost but, I'm pretty sure you've seen her, yes.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : I offended her, trying to do an anti-pixie eating deal. Ah well.

(TXT to Perdita Una Ravn) Ariadne : I have, yes, my brain is just crunchy right now. I blame bad champagne and casinos.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : Next time I end up somewhere with a falcon ring, I'm going to quietly do a 180, walk right out, sit under the stars until I wake up.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : Bets on whether that actually works?

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : Hey, sounds like a wisdom to me.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : It won't work. You always have to find the narrative and work through it. But it sure as fuck is tempting.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : It is.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : I like it better when the narrative gives more clues.

(TXT to Perdita Una Ravn) Ariadne : Could just scream at the heavens until you feel better.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : There's merit to that!

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : Now I want to go eat a good French dinner at Sitka, then go out on the bay with a bottle of strong whiskey and lie on the deck of my boat and scream at the heavens.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : So, I guess the unusual part there will be the French dinner.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : Apologise if I sound drunk. Coping mechanism number one? Have bottle by bed.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : Sounds smart to me.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : I'm down for screaming at the heavens, I could use a good scream. And god, I WISH I was drunk.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : Also, did I ever tell you what advice I got the first week in town? I asked someone -- the owner of Sitka, as it happens -- how people cope with all this shit.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : Told me, drink a lot and fuck a lot.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : I took the first half of that advice, I guess.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : Hahaha.

(TXT to Perdita Una Ravn) Ariadne : I mean, you are making love to a bottle of whiskey, this counts?

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : something something making love to his tonic and gin something something

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : -selfie of tussle-haired Ravn pretending to snuggle a bottle of 12 years Chivas Regal-

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : 😆 😆

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : Adorable.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : I'll just end up making pancakes again. I SWEAR I did not bake or cook this much before I moved here.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : I have no selfie to contribute to this conversation, but I do echo Una, adorable. Also, where are MY pancakes?

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : And mine.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : Get your butts into my kitchen, and you can have some?

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : It's so faaaar.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : I know. Poor baby.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : If you're dead serious, give me two more hours to sleep, and I'll be right over.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : Dead serious. Drag Ravn in with you.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : I'll throw him over my shoulder caveman-style and be right over.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : I would pay to see that.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : ... Not me. It'll hurt. Also, I'll be drunk.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : Then I'll wobble him over.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : This works too.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : No, I mean, I'm not a good drunk. I get embarrassing.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : You'll be in good company, bud, I'm sure we won't mind.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : What she said. I mean, not to peer pressure or anything.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : Blugh. Last time I got drunk I ended up on a friend's sofa crying. I don't even remember most of it. Also no idea where she is now. Think she skipped town without a word. Probably not connected.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : Well that sucks. The skipping town bit, I mean.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : The crying... dude. We all do that.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : Yeah, that's not new news to me, the crying bit. Sorry to hear about the skipping town part. :c

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : Ah, no, actually. I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to do that.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : Toxic masculinity?

(TXT to Perdita Una Ravn) Ariadne : Pretty sure that's -- what Una said.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : I suppose so. Hard habit to break, though.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : Understandable, but the fact that we won't mind remains.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : Society is fucked up that way.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : But... yeah.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Ariadne) Una : We definitely won't mind.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Una) Ravn : Yeah, my family has a bit of toxic traditions going on, I guess. I'll ... stop drinking. I'll still be coherent.

(TXT to Perdita Ariadne Ravn) Una : Whatever you like. Drunk, sober, you're always welcome.

(TXT to Perdita Ravn Una) Ariadne : Indeed, pancakes and coffee know no sober or drunk.