2020-10-27 - Ruining Kermit Forever

What is the night for if not one's brief beauty sleep? Whether alone or in the arm of a loved one with two or four legs, sleep is supposed to be restful. Relaxed, reinvigorating. Healing. And definitely not stressful. Except, of course, if one lives in Gray Harbor where reality is as fluid as a teenager with a no-limit credit card in a Hot Topic and no parents watching.

One moment, one's happily snoozing. The next -- there's the sound of bees. Just one, circling around lazily inspecting the flowers and the faces of people waking up in a sunny meadow that's definitely not checked the date before deciding to come into full bloom. This is a summer's day, and a pleasant one, at that -- one of those lazy mornings with a clear blue sky, skylarks competing to sing their little hearts out, and not a breeze stirring. It's so pleasant it has to be wrong.

It's also very definitely not Washington State. Sure, spruce trees are spruce trees. Clover is clover, the various weeds all look alike -- except to the resident botanist, no doubt -- and the smell of the ocean nearby isn't too strange, either. But half-timbered low houses such as that farmhouse over there by the road, thatched roof and all -- that's definitely not the outskirts of Seattle.

But hey. At least it's not raining.

August was, indeed, safe and sound in his bed, curled up with his wife, a kitten sleeping in the little woolen cat house at the foot of the bed. Was being the operative word.

He comes to, and thank Christ he was in some dark purple and black UW sweats when he went to sleep. He was in a nasty Dream in nothing but boxers once. That was a hell of a night. He sighs, rubs at his face. This is absolutely not going to stay this nice, but he'll enjoy the few moments of it they get. "Hardly seems fair," he mutters, and climbs to his feet.

When Seth stripped and went to bed about an hour ago from his shift as a bouncer at the Firefly Club, the redheaded enforcer did not expect to be waking up an hour later to sunshine, blue skies, laying in the grass.

Blinking his eyes against the light, Seth shades them with his hand and slowly starts to get to his feet. "What the bloody hell?" he exclaims as he stands up fully in an obvious state of confusion.

Seth also apparently didn't get handed the Dream 101 memo that you are supposed to wear some semblance of clothing to bed in Gray Harbor for this very reason. Someone probably won't be sleeping 'commando' ever again.

Neither is Ifra her usual coiffed and spotless self. She's woken up, or presumably woken up, in a rather sensible long, grey T-shirt that's seen a lot of wear and really shouldn't by now be seeing a lot of public use, and her hair is a rather voluminous mess. Right. Sunshine. Random passers by shouting. Peculiar architecture. Not to mention that she's suddenly outside in the grass when she's pretty sure she ought to be curled up in bed.

Probably that cheese from earlier. She lets out a hard done by sigh, rubs her temples reflexively, and starts walking. Nowhere in particular, but it's a dream, and walking is what you do. Right?

Joey doesn't sleep. Not really. Ask Nicole. He lays in wait and what he's waiting for is someone to break into him home drawing iron and looking to aerate him and possibly his household. He also wasn't trying. But there he in in just his boxers, a cooking apron and oven mitts. Look, don't judge. You lead your best life and he'll try to do the same.

"The fuuuuuck?!"

Joey's statement isn't entirely unwarranted. It probably covers the sentiment that most people would feel in a situation like this. Sometimes, there is no need to overcomplicate things. Sometimes, one word will indeed suffice.

The road down there is a dirt road. It's probably not even officially a road -- more, the kind of dirt track you end up with if horse-drawn carts travel the same way for long enough time. The house? Calling it thus is generous -- it's a small, half-timbered affair with a thatched roof, and behind it, there are two other buildings just like it. They form a kind of half-open rectangle towards that rather miserable road, and lie sheltered behind tall spruces and firs. Behind the -- farm? can you call something this poor a farmstead? -- lies a another field with a small hill or barrow on top; a thornbush of some kind grows on it. Everything breathes peace. The bumble bee buzzes on.

There are cattle in this field. They're kind of scrawny, red cows without horns, watching the scenery with the quiet disinterest of creatures that have four stomachs and plenty cud to chew. Yes, Ifra, what you just narrowly avoided stepping in is exactly what you think it is.

In contrast to Ifra, August stays put for a spell, waiting to see who all winds up here. Seth he knows, or knows of...well, not in the Biblical sense, except now he's half way to that too. He grimaces, and says, "Yeah...sleeping naked is a risk in this town."

He watches Ifra, who's unfamiliar yet has the shine and the Look of someone who just woke up in a Dream, walk off, half-turns when he hears Joey. "Kelly." He sighs. They can't let Ifra wander off alone. She might be a force recon type...but she also might not. Anyways, they need to find Monaghan some pants. Stat.

He keeps an eye where he's walking--barefoot in a cowpile, no thanks!--makes towards the buildings.

Only now does it register to Seth that he is hearing other voices in this dream of his. He glances around, noting August, Joey, and Ifra walking off. Glancing down at himself, Seth shrugs a shoulder in reply to August and looks off towards the farmstead. "So I see, guess it is a good thing I am body positive." The bouncer isn't built like Joey, but the bouncer doesn't have anything to be ashamed about.

"So, at the risk of sounding nieve....what the fuck is going on? And, more importantly, nobody is hearing dueling banjos, right? Because I am in no mood for acting out a scene from Deliverance." Beat. "But at least I am dressed for it."

It's not the cowpat that has Ifra hesitating, although for sure she's picking her way considerably more carefully after very nearly encountering that first one a little closer than she might have liked, but the fact that people are talking. And not only are they talking in accents not her own, but they don't all sound like they're right beside her. And, and possibly this is the most important part, she's encountered a fence that will require hurdling in an unladylike manner, and she's not about to do that with an audience. Therefore she turns, leans back on the fence, crosses her arms and narrows her eyes accusingly at these men invading her dream. Well, it's rude.

Joey seems, apparently, to be ripped beyond reason, but then again he owns a damn gym and is a boxer and his whole life is training. And apparently trying to get things out of the oven on time. Hearing his name those ham fists ball up ready in the oven mitts. but hang at his sides. "Roen. Seth." The first acknowledgement and the second more of an oh hey you. He might be picking up what August is putting down, takes off his apron with a mittened yank and the string and calls, "Monaghan. Don't get caught on something,." And with that flings the apron at him.

Looking around with squint green eyes he frowns slightly answering, "Dunno yet. Don't matter really either since we're here. Let's try not to do something fucking dumb. " He nods to Roen which might mean Oh yay, you're not dead. Good for you or even Hey.. He starts walking trying to keep an eye out for glass or rocks. To Ifra he asks, "What's the situation look like. Also, hi."

Ribbit. Or rather, croak.

That toad sitting at Ifra's foot is the biggest, fattest toad she's ever seen. Regardless of any previous experience with toads, they just don't... come that big. It's the size of a corgi. Toads are not supposed to get that big. It has beautiful eyes, though. Golden eyes with narrow black slits shining through a whole spectrum of metallic hues. Warm. Beautiful. Unexpectedly so in an otherwise rather hideous amphibian face.

Also, it is definitely smiling up at her.

August gives Joey an up-nod, and a small smile for the quick thinking. Well, it's better than nothing, right? "Like he says--no telling just yet. Keep an eye out, watch your feet."

Seeing that Ifra has stopped at the fence, he moves in her direction. His approach isn't direct, and he goes slow and careful, making it clear he's keeping a nice distance between them once he's also at the fence. He doesn't know her, she doesn't know him. "Hey. New in town? Newish?" He peers down at the toad. "And who're you," he asks it, like this is the most normal thing, to ask a toad for a name.

Aidan has, thankfully, learnt the sleeping-naked lesson... and plus, the trailer gets chilly of an October night these days, with just him there. So he's currently wearing a pair of red plaid flannel pants and a worn grey t-shirt illustrating four shapes: pentagon, hexagon, octagon, and Oregon; it's at least a couple sizes bigger than he really takes.

He sits up in the meadow, blinking around blearily, and runs a hand through his even-more-tousled-than-usual curls. "...huh." A few more blinks, and he recognizes at least some of these folks, from seeing them around town if nothing else. "Huh," he repeats, sparing one of those blinks for Seth, and then pushes up to his feet, stretching, and considering a moment or so before he starts to pad after the others.

Grabbing the tossed cloth from the air, Seth wraps the loop around his neck and ties the apron around himself giving him the modesty of a badly fitting hospital gown. "Ok, so, I can only assume this is one of those 'dreams' that Ravn kept going on and on about. So far, this doesn't seem like the nightmarish hellscapes he made them sound like." Seth starts to follow August and Joey towards Ifra, keeping his eye open for any other bovine land mines to avoid getting that squished between his toes.

As he approaches, he flits his head in a nod towards Ifra, "Hey. Welcome to the party."

Ruiz, thankfully, fell asleep doing paperwork rather than in any compromising sort of arrangement or lack of clothing. He's about as accustomed to this sort of shit happening as one can be in Gray Harbour by now, and rises to his full height slowly, thumbing along the trigger guard of his holstered sidearm as he gets a good look around. There's Roen over there, talking to a frog. Which is about par for the course. And Joey Kelly, and that ginger who thinks he's a Monaghan. The cop sniffs sharply, scratches at his beard, then starts prowling on over to the others.

Right, now there are more strange people approaching, a massive toad with weird eyes... and what looks like the cop from the other day. Next she'll be in her underwear, at school, sitting an exam in advanced algebra that she never studied for, all the while desperate for a toilet that keeps getting further away. "Nice eyes," Ifra decides to tell the frog, that being clearly the most sensible thing to do under the circumstances, then gives August an accusing look. As though perhaps it's his giant frog on the loose and really shouldn't it be on a leash and she doesn't want to think about the poop bas he ought to be carrying. "Nice frog," she adds to the man, although in a tone to rhyme with WTF is this.

Joey scowls at Roen, because that's the same face as concern for Joey and he rolls the oven mitt in a circle reasoning, "You ever snag your balls on a bush running like hell it's a mistake you only fucking do once." Concerned. He moves forward because, apparently thinking in alignment with Ifra, standing still is pretty pointless. "Anyhting not handled correctly is hellish pretty fucking fast. Let's not assume shit."

He stops though and it isn't the frog but the cop. he pauses and slooooowly pans a look to Ruiz, eyes first, then his head. "De." He's not fucking calling him 'Javier'. The paper makes that shit up. Looking around he says to Seth "I dunno. Ask the frog for directions. He looks indigestionist." ...indigenous, Joey. Sigh.

"Kee," the toad says and blinks its large golden eyes.

A moment later it apparently comes to the realisation that humans are in fact a bit slow on the uptake and adds, "That's my name. Kee. Good morning. I'm very pregnant. What are you going to do about it?"

Because this is normal. At least if you're a toad the size of a corgi, and prone to striking up conversations with random human beings out of which one is wearing baking mitts and another is trying to preserve his dignity with an apron. Maybe it's not the toad who's acting a little strange in this reality.

Of the niceness of said frog, August murmurs, "Remains to be seen." Which also works to answer the unspoken part of Ifra's question, as it turns out. The toad very obligingly gives over its name, and gives them a strange sort of ultimatum, which makes August blink.

He glances back at Seth and Joey, sees Ruiz and Aidan are here as well. "Wait for it," he tells Seth. "Sometimes they start out all cozy and cute, then there's running and screaming." He makes a face at Joey specifically. "There are bears in Olympic, and in the summer it's more comfortable to sleep naked when you're out in the field." This is August's version of, 'Yes, Joey, I have in fact had to run naked from a bear, and reaped the rewards thereof'.

Back to the toad. "Nice to meet you, Kee. I'm August." A glance up at Ifra to include her in that introduction, back down to Kee. "Aren't you supposed to lay your eggs in a waterway?"

"...sometimes they stay okay, though," Aidan says, having long-leggedly caught up right about time to get the frog's answer and question. He tilts head slightly, regarding the creature. "Hi, Kee. ...and everyone else. I'm Aidan. Nice to meet you!" A small pause, glancing at the other humans, and he looks back to Kee. "I kinda wasn't planning on doing anything about it, really," he informs her, not quite apologetically. "Do you need something done about it, though? Like," a glance to August, "finding a waterway, I guess? Or a doctor?"

Looking between August, and Joey, Seth take their words to heart. The enforcer reaches down between his legs and pulls the apron through, tucking the bottom of it into the tied portion, thus girding his loins so in case he has to run or do something the loose fabric won't get in the way. It also has the added bonus of covering his backside.

The appearance of Ruiz is met with a brief two-second stare before he casts a glance towards Joey, "Directions? Sure, because why the fuck not."

As everyone starts to introduce themselves to the frog, Seth after a moment shrugs one of his shoulders and tells the amphibian "I'm Seth. Congratulations on the tadpoles. I'm sure you will make one hell of a mother. So, which way to the exit?"

The cop, thus far, has nothing to contribute to this little get together. Seth's glance his way is returned in kind, wary and perhaps a touch wryly amused at the sight of the apron and.. little else. Then he nods to Joey, and wanders off a short way to try to take stock of where, precisely, the fuck they are. Surely there's some sort of door or other obvious way out.

Ifra does not introduce herself, reasoning that if it's her damn dream then she shouldn't need to. And given that everyone else has already suggested waterways, medical assistance and the wellbeing of any future tadpoles, she's content to remain quiet, one eye on the frog while she takes in the quaint and curious costumes of the people she's imagined in her dream. Seriously, she needs to lay off the cheese.

Joey arches an eyebrow at Roen. "I didn't know you were in the Olympics. Shit, maybe I need to find me a bear to get my guys to run more." So there Joey is bare foot and in his black boxers and oven mitts finding it's very hard to cross your arms in oven mitts. He also doesn't introduce himself. Maybe he's been hanging around NosyFriend(tm) lately but names sometimes are important.

Looking to Seth he's said their peace, and now it's back to the frog, and then Ruiz. On they walk. The frog is not yet presently his problem. There's a sigh and he murmurs, "Why are we here?"

"I am obviously not a toad." The toad that does indeed look very much like a toad of unusual size rolls its beautiful, metallic eyes. "How many toads my size have you seen? I am an enchanted -- mumble mumble. What did you think?" The mumbled word there isn't clear -- and English it's certainly not. But then, nothing about this whole landscape says English or American in the first place.

"Anyway," it allows with a bit more grace. "One of you big, strapping men should carry me home. I live in that hill behind the farm, under the thornbush. And my feet are tired. Did I mention that I am pregnant?"

It looks up at Ifra and winks. "Men. They're a little slow sometimes, aren't they. And underdressed. So which one of you fools is the midwife?"

August gives the toad a Look. In a voice as dry as a Death Valley summer, he says, "Obviously." He clears his throat. "We apparently had a dump truck sized one at Gray Pond a while back--" He stops himself. Will this random, pregnant, not-toad care that the Omega Toad, Goddess of all Toads, the Toad Who Was First and Shall Be Last, was tromping around their disaster of a town, leaving large dog-sized tadpoles in the waterways? Probably not.

He looks askance at Ifra, mostly to assure himself she's still there. Kee's now talking about big strapping young men. August is only one of those things, so he turns and looks right at Joey, Ruiz, Aidan, and Seth. "This is why," he tells Joey, pointing at the not-toad. "She needs one of you to give her a lift home." One of you. Not one of us. Take heed, big strapping young men.

Aidan is big if you count tall, and young if you count 27, but more slim than strapping. That tends to be reserved for people who take up somewhat more horizonal space. With muscles. Sometimes with muscles on the muscles. The magician's fit enough, but there are people here who fit the brief better than he does, which is possibly why he looks a little bit dubious as he sizes up the Very Large Amphibi-ish. "Sorry, I kinda didn't catch that. An enchanted what?" A glance to the other guys, then; he'll likely do it if no one else does, but there's a slight pause to see whether anyone stronger-looking steps up first.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me.." Seth exclaims as he folds his arms over his chest and stares down at the toad. "Do I look like a rickshaw?" The redheaded enforcer glances between the others before looking back to the toad. "So, Kee was it, how did you get yourself over here in your current state, or did you suddenly get a case of the babies when out and about on your daily stroll? What, did some bullfrog come hopping by and you couldn't help yourself?"

Seth looks around to the group, "Does this reak of a set up to anyone else here, or is it just me? Like little miss toad here lures us to her home in the guise of helping the poor, pregnant frog all the way over there to her place, and then...BOOM."

The large man sighs, looking back down at the toad, "But, people have said that the only way out is through, so... Shit, you better not give birth on me."

Seth unfolds his arms and slowly, very slowly, starts to move to pick up the thing.

Guess who's not volunteering to be a pack mule for the fucking toad. That's right, de la Vega. He might be strapping, but it's debateable whether he's young. Where does one draw the line at that sort of thing, anyway? Besides, Seth's stepping up and taking one for the team, which he looks back just in time to catch sight of. "Good man," he murmurs with a crinkle-eyed smile, a slap on the guy's back, and an upnod to the others. "Hill behind the farm. Let's go, then. Roen, tell me you know a little animal husbandry?"

Joey looks at all of them and narrows his eyes. "Oh for fuck's sake they just need help." Joey tromps over quietly and looks to the amphibian and says flat out, "Look we never picked up someone like... yourself before so sorry if this gets weird for you." He will, at least, walk with Seth as he tries to pick preggo froggo up like his 3-legged little mutt at home. Seth gets a small nod for this which abruptly stops and the young wolf growls, "Fuck, Seth, She don't need to be made to feel and about her goddamn fuckin situation especially from a couple of assholes who got no idea. What the fuck man. Don't be with me in a shoot out if I get shot again, that's all I ask. Chriiiiist." He points. This way we go.

At least the toad seems to want to be carried. Not to mention the fact that she seems highly amused by the fact that not one but two young studs are volunteering. There's a first, having your biceps and abs admired by a giant pregnant toad.

The farmstead is not difficult to walk around. It's even possible to walk around upwind of it which is no doubt a very good idea because the one element that movies always leave out when depicting idyllic old surroundings like these is how much they smell. Yes, the cows do things in the barn at night. And the straw they do it on gets piled up right there, and incidentally, bathrooms have not been invented yet either, and that pile of straw is it.

In other words, wherever the heck this is, it's not contemporary, either. Sanitation probably involves pissing on the midden, then washing up by the outdoors pump. Or, you know, just not.

A small path leads through the fields towards that little barrow mound on the other side of the farmstead. A few cows shuffle on out of the way of our intrepid, toad-carrying heroes as they approach; apart from that, everything is remarkably quiet. The mound, as one approaches, is about the side of a small house -- and for those who happen to be inclined to take an interest in that sort of thing, it looks like it's probably some kind of Stone or Bronze Age burial mound.

For a hellscape of horrors, this really is quite tame.

August narrows his eyes at Ruiz, squints at the not-toad. "Animal husbandry, sure. If ducks and chickens and geese count." They don't, really. "I, ah, can give it a shot, though." Fortunately, Seth and Joey are happy to do the man-handling, and August is more than happy to let them. Joey even has oven mitts, in case that's relevant. (Who wants to be turned into a toad from not-toad slime? Not August.) He looks askance at Aidan, shakes his head. Nope, he didn't catch it either.

He's careful to avoid breathing through his nose as they head around the farmstead to the hill. "Your home's this...mound?" He tries not to sound judgmental or dubious, fails utterly. He's not sure what it is, but 'home' isn't high on the list. "Any kind of...bed, or something you want to do this on?"

Aidan gives a small nod once it's clear that stronger arms than his will be facilitating this relocation, and continues along with the group, looking around and -- after a nose-wrinkled moment of regret -- also trying to stick to breathing through his mouth. August's look gets a sideways return and a hint of a nod: not caught, and not answered. Hm. "...you said under a thornbush, right?" he asks, eyeing the mound. Well. If he were a big not-toad he'd... maybe live somewhere like that? Somehow a pond with massive lilypads still seems more inviting in his head.

Seth gives Ruiz a look as he is slapped on the back, giving a small shrug in return. His attention changes over to Joey, giving the boxer a look as he picks up the toad-like thing in his arms, cradling it like one might a baby, "Hey give me a break Joey. I'm carrying her, aren't I? I may be an asshole about it, but I'm doin' it!" grumbles the enforcer. "I didn't ask to be here, I'm entitled to a little venting. 'Sides, she doesn't seem to care."

He walks, quietly, with the toad as they pass the farmstead and reach the mound. Once there he pauses, waiting to confirm this is where they are meant to be before he makes any move to place the toad back onto the ground.

Preggers toad definitely hasn't objected to being the centre of attention of all these big, strapping blokes. The grin on her face -- how does a toad even grin? -- is worthy of any smug cougar who's about to burst with babies. The looks Seth and Joey get are outright lecherous.

"Just because it looks like a dump to you doesn't mean it actually is one," Kee the enormous toad observes imperiously from her elevated and quite comfortable position. "Put me there, in my bed." Beat. "Yes, the clump of grass there. It looks like a clump of grass to you. It's obviously not, come on. Don't be more stupid than you have to be, even if you're all human. Don't your grandmothers teach you anything anymore?"

She narrows her eyes suspiciously. "One of you is going to be carrying my eggs down to the water trough. Don' t care which one. But you can take anything from the midden you want as a reward, when all my eggs are down there in the water."

August eyes the 'midden'. "...that's uh, real generous of you." If he's to assume this is some sort of Fae, what little he knows of them suggests you should be as courteous as you can possibly manage. Anyways, who knows, maybe there will be a nice rock in there. Ellie loves rocks.

He clears his throat, says, "I can manage that, with some help," and cats a significant Look at Kelly of the oven mitts. He'd also enlist Seth and his apron, except then the apron's current purpose would be somewhat waylaid. Also Seth carried her up here.

Joey murmurs to the toad, "Eh, should see my place. Not here to judge. Just help you out and go home before my place burns down." He stops and frowns to the frog, "Never had a grandma." Which is Joey for no. Is he staring down the frog? Maybe. Looking to Seth he casy "You can use the top of that if you unloop it." He looks to August like don't do me any favours and sighs. He can use a sock in the oven when he gets home. Kelly logic. "Yeah. We got you."

Aidan is not 100% certain what a midden is, but maybe that's one of the many things he wasn't properly taught by a grandmother. "Me neither," he says, regarding never having one, and looks from Kee toward the trough and back. "Don't things have to drink from there though?" he asks, "That seems kinda dangerous for the babies. I mean, I can help get 'em to water, sure, but...?"

Seth moves over to the clump of grass and gently puts the preggo toad down into the pile of greenery. "Ok, well, there ya go." the bouncer says as he starts to wipe his hands on the apron, giving Joey a look. The bouncer nods and unloops the loop from around his neck, holding his hands out and making a bit of a pocket for the eggs to go in. "Ok, I guess I can manage to walk them to the water. Where is the water anyway?"

And this is how Seth Monaghan ended up going down in the collective memory of at least some residents of Gray Harbor as the bloke who sat on a Bronze Age burial mound gently supporting a rather oversized toad while she filled his apron with eggs. Each strand of eggs is accompanied by a very undignified grunt. As far as mental images go, it's probably not one for the high school yearbook. Or maybe it is -- all depending on your preferred brand of humour.

Of all the crazy things some people have been subjected to in dreams, watching an oversized toad give birth is pretty harmless. It certainly doesn't compare to killer trees, meso-american gods, or the rising of the old deep ones out of some Lovecraftian nightmare. Mostly it's just a bit gross.

"Nobody drinks my eggs," Kee confirms to Aidan in between rather un-ladylike grunts and heaves. "It's magic. Real magic, hustler boy. You see a trough, I see -- never mind what I see, it'd blow your mortal little mind anyway."

Imperious toad is imperious.

When at last she is finally done the corgi-sized toad beams up at Seth, the designated egg-carrier. "You see that trough down there at the farmstead, Ginger? That's where you take those eggs. And you put them all in the water and make sure they get as good and wet as the girl you shagged last week, you hear me now? I'll be coming for you if anything happens to my babies."

Leaning back on her clump of grass with an expression that loudly proclaims that momma's about to have a bumble bee and a nap, she nods down towards the farmstead. "All right, you all done good. When the kids are in the trough you can take anything you like from the midden. If you can carry it, it's yours."

Because who doesn't want to be rewarded with dirty straw and cowpats by an oversized toad with an attitude like an aging soap opera antagonist, indeed.

As the egg-laying starts, Seth just wrinkles his nose up and makes a rather disgusted sound. This man has certainly seen blood, more likely seen much worse during his 'duties' working for his cousin, but this causes the bile to rise in his throat. "Oh man," he mutters to himself more than anyone, "This is just revolting. Why the fuck would I even think about drinking your eggs, lady! I have no desire to try a toad-omelet, though from what I hear it might be better than the ones at the Black Bear."

Once the toad finishes her business into Joey's borrowed apron, the redheaded enforcer slowly starts to walk towards the mentioned trough, making sure to watch where he is stepping. Don't want to slip on some shit and drop the whole bunch. "I need a drink..."

August watches the birthing process, face contorted in a silent expression of 'UGH'. He does succeed in keeping his inside voice on the inside, at least. "Right. The trough." He coughs, looks aside. "Feel free to hand me some if the apron's out of space, Monaghan." Will he ever get the slime out of his sweater? Well...he'll burn that bridge once he's on it.

He follows alongside Seth, careful to grab any eggs that attempt to spill out.

"I kinda still wanna know," Aidan admits regarding the potentially mind-blowing information, but the egg-laying is... possibly close to doing that itself, given the slightly aghast fascination it gets. That is... that is a new one. Knowing frogs and toads lay eggs and seeing a massive not-one actually do it are definitely not the same thing.

"Definitely don't eat the ones at the diner," he says distractedly to Seth, just in case the guy might be really considering it, and it takes a second after things are settled and Seth's started walking, August beside, before he shakes it off with an, "Oh! Shit, sorry, I'll watch the other side," and steps to fall in there, pulling off his t-shirt in case he ends up needing to use it to save some eggs that try to escape.

Seth, along with August and Aidan takes the egg-laden apron carefully down to the indicated trough of water and slowly lowers the end of the apron down to let the eggs plop down into the liquid, taking time to make sure they all make it to their watery home. Once done, the enforcer looks down at his slime encrusted apron, wiping his hands on any clean part of it he might be able to find as he turns to the others. "Well, that is that. What happens now? Do we just poof/ and go home? Do we have to find an exit? I don't know. I've never done anything like this before. Oh, and what is the deal with the shit pile she is offering? Do we take some of it, because the last thing I want to do is offend some magical toad... I don't want any reason to be brought back to this place."

August grunts at Seth's questions. He, too, is slime-covered, which Eleanor is going to love when he gets back. He can hear her now 'AUGH. SHOWER! NOW.' "Kind of depends. Sometimes we have to find our way out, sometimes it kicks us out. Sort of depends." He eyes the midden pile with obvious reluctance--but, well, it's not the first time he's dealt with such a thing. Manure does make great fertilizer, after all. (He might need three showers, come to think of it.) "I guess we...could abstain from going through it. But yeah, offending her might not be the best idea." He grimaces.

Aidan watches the depositing of the eggs still with somewhat uncomfortable fascination. "I kinda don't wanna get boba tea for. A while," he mutters half under his breath, and after things are handled, he waits half a second to see whether something immediately happens. "Definitely depends," he agrees, taking a look around to see whether a big glowing portal has magically appeared. In a ring of mushrooms or something. You really never know, and it doesn't seem totally out of theme for... something with farmhouses and meadows and big talking kinda-toad. "And, I dunno, probably there's stuff in it? Like, I guess, those little fair games where you dig in the sand and find a thing? We could try just saying there's no need and we're happy to help. But prolly if she insists we oughta."

"Well fuck," Seth says as he starts to make his way back up towards the midden pile. "In for a penny, in for a pound I guess. Might as well go through it and see if there is anything interesting in it. She makes it out to be that there is." The enforcer shrugs his shoulders, "I'm already gross and have to boil myself anyway, so might as well go digging through shit. I better not catch some form of alien alternate dimension hepatitis or anything."

In for a penny, in for a pound.

Maybe not the best choice of expression at the moment. There aren't a lot of pennies lying around on the midden. There are pounds and pounds and pounds of -- well, roses it ain't, though it probably would serve very well as fertiliser for them.

In the trough, the eggs behave very much like -- well, frog eggs. Some of them float. Some of them sink. Most of them are blown to the far end by the surface tension of the water where they decide to cling to the side of the trough and each other as frog eggs do. They get down to work on being eggs and eventually some day turning into tadpoles. It's nature at work here, and probably natural selection too -- at least some of those babies are going to end up in cow tummies. If all the frogs are corgi-sized around here, maybe that's a good thing.

You'd need a lot of flies to feed that many corgi-sized frogs. Then again, there's a lot of midden to attract them, too.

It's not the worst way to go to sleep, dreaming about middens.

It's an odd dream to wake up from, though. One moment one is standing next to a smelly mess of a midden watching a red-haired guy digging through the cowpats -- except in the case of the red-haired guy who probably wishes he too was watching somebody else do it. The next, one is back in one's own bed at home, safe and frog free and in some cases, rather covered in slime. As far as Gray Harbor's rather unique penchant for interactive story telling goes, it's on the harmless side. Very harmless side. Funny even, a little? There's a first for everything, including sexual innuendo from the wide mouth of a corgi-sized pregnant frog.

Maybe the them just really felt like giving everybody a break and some breathing space, catch a moment of relaxation, have a little fun before the next round. Maybe a rare sporadic moment of mercy and an attempt to develop a sense of humour?

And maybe the Moon is made from green cheese.

But at least this little story played by the fairytale rules. Seth Monaghan does find himself waking up with a few handfuls of shiny brand new minted coins in the morning where he thought he'd picked up cowpats. It's just that they're obviously fakes -- old-fashioned dalers the kind which hasn't been minted anywhere in Scandinavia for a hundred and fifty years.