2020-11-11 - Escape from Gilligan's Island

August wakes up with a ceiling way, way too close to his face. Fortunately, he's been feeling especially languid of late; instead of panicking and flailing out of his hammock, he grunts and tries to sort out how to get out of it without kicking anyone in the head. Six to one and pickin' 'em if he pulls that off. "What the hell," he says. He's in OSU sweats and barefoot, which ought to go great.

Swaying in the breeze. Swaaaaying in the breeze. Normally, everything about this would freak Alexander right the fuck out before he even properly woke up, but he's feeling surprisingly good (read: stoned) today, so he sort of rolls to one side and blinks at the seagull man and mermaid with a benevolently bleary gaze. "Ohhh, it's Larry and his wife. Hi Larry. Hi Larry's wife. You're looking feathered today." He looks around and jumps to the ground. "I guess I don't have to ask where we are." He's also in school sweats - this time Addington High, though.

Itzhak in grand Gray Harbor tradition of showing up in Dreams not wearing much, is wearing only tight black boxer briefs and a few lines on his face suggestive of having passed out on the couch. He turns over and promptly falls out of the hammock. Thump. Grunt. "The fuck is that noise." Too late in the year for jays to be screaming at the window, isn't it? Or is it, he's not sure.

Ruiz dozed off, yet again, doing some interminably boring paperwork at his desk. Which beats, say, being naked. But could be improved upon by not having been interrupted by some fucking seagull guy and his mermaid wife, and being stuck with the bitch spot in this stupid hammock setup.

He maneuvers himself out and onto the floor of the hut, double-checks that he's still got his handgun holstered at his hip, and shoots Alexander a semi-stoned but vaguely accusatory look. "Larry? You know this guy? How the fuck do you know this guy." Itzhak, he simply frowns at.

Aidan definitely did not go to sleep in a hammock, though as he wakes up in one part of his mind wonders why and makes a note to consider seeing whether he could get one to work in the trailer. His mind's been making a lot of notes like that all day, and they keep disappearing off somewhere somehow. And... voices. He opens his eyes, squinting a bit as he looks up at a hammocked back. "...oh, hey," he greets, starts to sit up, almost falls out of the hammock, and grabs the edges, taking a second before he tries again more carefully to slide out and to the ground. "Oh hey Larry and Franny..." He's in flannel pyjama pants with little tacos all over them and a slightly ripped t-shirt that thinks you ought to buy some kind of cheap beer.

Alexander shoots a pleasantly buzzed smile to Ruiz. "Larry's great. Poor guy. Always wanders into things, him and his wife. Now he's a seagull. He got melted once, when we got taken away to Gilligan's island and had to fight the Globetrotters and..." he stops, and starts looking around, worry finally filtering into his brain. "Oh no. Ohhhhh, no."

August heads out of the hut because it's crowded as fuck in here once everyone gets out of their hammocks. He takes stock of who all's with them, focuses on Alexander when he begins oh-noing. "'Oh no'?" he echoes. His attention shifts from the seagull person (...Larry?) and the mermaid, to the yacht, to the--

The explosion that hits Aidan knocks August clear. He shakes his head, tries to get his bearings. "Fuck, this thing again," he grunts, and staggers to his feet. He stumbles over to Aidan. "Come on, big guy, get up."

Aidan quietly hums the Gilligan's Island tune to himself for a moment before it sinks in what it is, and before the combination of 2+2 starts to add up to, if not 4, at least 3.87 or so. It helps that Alexander twigs to that bit of history first. "Oh," he agrees, and takes a few steps to get a better look outside... which is probably why he's so perfectly in the line of fire when the Gillamonster heaves into view. "Oh, shitcakes," is all he manages to say, thinking too slowly today to even get a shield up before he takes a beautiful yet explosive movie star right to the chest. He gets thrown back a good couple feet, and he's definitely out.

Itzhak blinks blearily up at Ruiz's frown, turns his hands over in a silent whaaaaat. Oozing to his feet, he stands swaying a little, looking at Aidan and Alexander and August and really transparently wondering what the hell he took last night. The GILLAMONSTER appears, Gingers get launched, and Itzhak staggers back into the rack of hammocks. Is he going to be any use whatsoever?

Kailey is slow to wake up. Not getting a lot of sleep due to two infants in the house is a thing. It's the sounds and squaking and horrible singing that wakes her up. Blinking she sits up in the hammock and sways, grabbing at it. "Awwww man...." Looks like things have caught up with her. She throws herself out of the hammock and onto the floor. Dressed in a too-large army green t-shirt and girl-boxers. "The fuck?!?" Is heard from her as she sees the thing and throws her hands up before her.

Alexander's eyes widen as Ginger runs into the hut. "OH, N--" he starts again, and then BOOM!

And Alexander gets blown through the wall of the hut, out into the shallow water between dock and beach. "Yeah. Yeah, that sounds about right," he mumbles, picking himself up out of the salt water and sand, which at least was soft enough to keep from getting injured. He looks up, and up at the Gillamonster. "See? Leg sweeps don't help." He takes a careful stance, then starts humming to himself as he tries to weave an illusion: many many copies of the other people, enough to maybe distract the Gingers. Mind you, since he's stoned as fuck, each of the illusionary Ruizes, Augusts, Itzhaks, etc. have silly, silly hats, and he's giggling to himself as he makes each hat MORE ridiculous.

Ruiz doesn't stop to think; he simply moves, once the familiar form of a gillamonster comes into view. There isn't time to warn Aidan, or grab him and drag him to the ground. But August's dealing with it, so the cop draws his gun and pops off a couple of shots at the creature while trying to back way the hell up and make himself as annoyingly difficult a target as possible.

Itzhak, sagging over with his elbow in a hammock as the only thing keeping him upright, nevertheless manages a narrow-eyed jealous sneer at this Ginger. "Bitch. Hands off my man." That's when a chunk of the splintered hut abruptly lances its way out of the sand and into Gillamonster. Fwip! Then Alexander is giggling madly and Itzhak starts giggling too, helplessly. "Why am I so high??" he asks nobody, covering his face with a hand.

Kailey sees Aidan go down and her eyes go wide. She rushes forward with electricity and static making her hair begin to stand on end. It was already wild, but now it is a purple halo as she takes aim. Then starts to giggle as she says, "Use the Force." And lets loose with an arc of electricity. Aiming for the Gillamonster of course.

August drags Aidan to his feet, trembling against the nausea and adrenaline at war with what was a comfortable, muzzy-headed high. "See? Just a scratch," he lies to Aidan. A glance to assure himself everyone else is, well, not dead at least, then he turns on the abomination and tries to tear some part of it loose. This isn't a person, and anyways, it just tried to kill Aidan. He's not feeling generous, just pissed.

"It's a Gray Harbor style vacay," Alexander calls to Itzhak, giggling. "Beautiful beaches! Warm water! Horrific mutant zombie monsters complete with bombshell bimbos!" He spins his arms, and all of his fake people dance across the paths of their real versions, trying to keep the Gillamonster from getting a 'lock' on anyone else. By now, the hats are at least a foot tall, and coconuts and bananas figure HEAVILY in the designs. He walks out of the salt water, and his eyes light up.

Literally. Lightning dances from his eyes to his hands, and he unleashes it on the Gillamonster in a jittery arc. Still laughing and humming to himself.

De la Vega, unfortunately, is not very good at making himself a small target. It's like the Gillamonster has a goddamned grudge against him, or maybe a crush, the way it sends that Ginger hurtling straight for him. He tries to beat it off with the butt of his gun, then turn it and put a couple of rounds in the thing, but his shots go wide by a hair. He huffs with irritation, true anger smoothed over by the high he's rocking at the moment, and he actually shoots the thing a smile before holding up his hand as if in offering. What's his gift? Why, a horrible jolt of electricity, of course.

"I can't cope with your fucking hats, Alexander!" Itzhak has decided not looking at the many versions of himself and August--and worse, Ruiz--wearing silly hats is the way to go here. (Aidan is okay, though. An enormous coconut-banana hat is totally on brand for Aidan.) Hand over his eyes, he's laughing, bright red, and the amount of clothes he isn't wearing demonstrates that his blush goes all the way down his chest.

Kailey watches as her lightening arcs out and joins with some fire to hit the beast. She pumps her fist as it goes down under the barrage and she moves closer to Aidan. "You okay, dude?" She asks worriedly as the next wave comes in. "Really? After that you're commin' for more?" Shaking her head she snaps her fingers and lets static build again. Hair once more rising. This time Gilligan is getting it.

"My hats are beautiful, Itzhak. So beautiful!" Alexander shouts it back to the mechanic, and the distraction (but mostly the fact that he is high as fuck) sends the lightning skittering off in all directions. All directions except the Gillamonster, anyway. He drops his hands, and the illusions fade away. "...now look what happened. The hats are gone!" A beat as the Gillamonster is burnt, zorched, and otherwise ripped apart. "Ooh. This is going well."

Now they're all doomed. He refocuses on Skipper. "Hi," he tells the man. "Why Gilligan's Island? Why not Skipper's Island? Or the Professors? I never understood that." As he's rambling, he's also charging back up, the smell of ozone thick around him.

August struggles to get a grip on the Gillamonster, and manages to tear a small piece of out of it. The many, many illusions of themselves are distracting as hell. Everyone's efforts bring it down with a wonderfully combustive blast from Aidan, and he sags back, still shaken up by all of this.

So now Gilligan and the Skipper are joining in, naturally. He moves back, because unlike the amalgamation of people, he's going to find it harder to attack them.

Aidan is even muzzier once August's manages to get him back up and awake. "Jus' a scratch," he agrees, nodding, despite the previously ripped shirt having moved on to destroyed and being dyed a new deep red shade. He's a bit wobbly, to say the least, and it takes a second before he manages a, "Thanks," but it's definitely sincere. The vast numbers of their selves in hats is cheering, at least, but the base rule is, things trying to kill him get set on fire, and he hurls a good strong fireball right at the Gillamonster's chest. That it hits there may well be luck, considering, but he'll take it! And in the moment it's down, he remembers to take a second to try to reinforce himself, as well.

"Aww yeah, now we're cookin' with gas!" Itzhak sounds way too happy about Gilligan and Skipper showing their faces to mix it up. He lurches forward, grinning stupid and lopsided. "Come 'n get it, sailors, I got what you need!" It's punching. Punching to the faces, that's what they need.

Kailey finds herself giggling as she reaches out to try and steady Aidan as he sways. "Red is not your color, dude," She tells him with a giggle, eyeing the tattered shirt and red staining the fellow artist.

It's hard to focus, with all these damned copies of themselves. Copies of themselves in fancy hats, to boot. Ruiz leaves his sidearm stowed, too easy to hit someone with a stray bullet, and focuses on the Skipper when he makes his appearance. Of course the guy's spotted him. Gritting his teeth, he lets loose with another volley of electricity.

Alexander nods quite solemnly at Skipper - then hits him in the stomach with a bolt of lightning. "I think it's an injustice. Gilligan is actually the least interesting member of the cast from what little I ever saw of the show. All he did was bumble around and cause problems--" and as Gilligan falls down, he waves a languid hand in that direction, "see? Not exactly enough to carry a show, is he? No wonder it was all sight gags and slapstick - those are not shoulders that could carry any sort of narrative weight!"

Apparently Alexander has OPINIONS about old sitcoms when he's high. And he's still sparking all over the place.

It might have been Gilligan choosing a different target that gave her the opening, but Kailey doesn't care. The lightening lances out and zorches Gilligan good. "I always hated that show. Worst rerun hours ever," She turns her eyes onto Howell now. "Is that guy with us or does he need some Force lightening too?" She takes a step back and looks around, assessing the situation for other threats possibly trying to sneak up on them. Weren't there some others on that cast?

August grunts and staggers back as a coconut thumps him square in the chest. That's gonna leave an awesome looking bruise. He sucks in a breath, eyes watering, follows where Kailey is looking. "They...might be our ride out of here. Maybe just..." He nods at the Skipper, focuses on shoring up Ruiz's defenses. For some reason everything wants to attack Ruiz.

Itzhak barely lands a hit when Kaily suddenly scorches the living daylights out of Gilligan and the dude falls over dead as a fucking doorknob. "That's what you GET!" Itzhak isn't above trash talk even when he's sober. He reels around to face Skipper, STAY and DOWN up and ready to rock and roll. "Don't wreck the boat, we're gonna fuckin' jack it," he tells Kailey, but he's kinda distracted. "Come on, big boy, pick on someone ya own size!" to Skipper. Even though he ain't exactly Skipper's size.

And now, coconuts! "It's the only shirt I got," Aidan notes to Kailey, before Alexander's inquiry has him realising, "...that's a really good question." He's watched that show stoned plenty, and yet never had this revelation! He winces as one of the coconuts hits August. Who just helped him, too! "Stop that!" he demands of the Skipper, and attempts to emphasise this by setting his pants on fire. That's how you really know someone's serious. Or lying.

Electricity arcs out of Ruiz's fingers, but barely scorches the fucker who's been on his ass like a bad rash. Mostly because he's having trouble focusing his power, with all the ducking and weaving he's trying to do, to not get pelted with one of those coconuts being hurled at him. A stream of incredibly filthy Spanish insults spills out of his mouth as one wings toward him and whacks him in the leg. The leg that the Gillamonster already shredded. Fucker.

"Thanks," he grunts at August, and makes to blast the Skipper in the face with electricity when he, too, decides it's open season on cops.

"Ooooohhh. Okay," Kailey says and nods her head as people tell her to leave the boat alone. Turning to look sympathetically at Aidan as they all attack the Skipper. And miss? That makes her quirk a brow and tilt her head to the side. "NINJA!" More sparks? More sparks fly as she aims to let out another jolt at the Skipper.

"HEY!" The thump of the coconut off Ruiz's chest seems to jar Alexander out of his ramble. "Don't do that! That's my friend! Only friends hurt friends!" No, that didn't make much sense, but he's running forward now, his fists sheathed in crackling, near invisible electricity. "You don't get to!"

"Ni siquiera me gustan los cocos, carajo!" bellows de la Vega, followed up shortly by the very coconut that was tossed at him, flung right back at the Skipper. He's got a pretty good arm, too. "And shut the fuck up about the wall already!"

"Stop being such a dick!" Aidan yells at Skipper when his fireball wooshes just past the guy, although it's hard not to grant that you-just-killed-my-BFF is a pretty relatable motivation. It just doesn't count when he was trying to kill them at the time. He draws his hands back to take another try, wincing as the movement pulls against his seriously wounded chest, and adding a tiny whimper when throwing the fire makes him stumble a step and reminds him the Ginger shrapnel got him other places, too.

"Did I TELL YOU you could touch him!?" Itzhak would usually be snarling but now he's just trying not to giggle. Possibly because Ruiz doesn't even like coconuts, damn!

Well at least they don't have to deal with Gilligan anymore. August goes back to...not using anyone as a shield, but he's for sure skulking in the background. Skulking, and working on making the Skipper considerably more vulnerable to what's incoming. And hey, maybe it helps, maybe not. Everyone sure unloaded on the guy. He'll take it.

He turns his attention to the boat. "So we're swimming out to that?"

Kailey giggles and bounces on the balls of her feet and claps as her arc of electricity hits the Skipper's right arm. Another damn fine shot. Grinning wide she turns to Aidan and sees him sway. Those green eyes get wide and she leans in to help him. "Put your arm around my shoulders, I got ya buddy," She tells him gently. "Well, we could take turns floating each other out?" She suggest to August.

"Inconceivable!" Mr. Howell throws up his hands - and his martini glass - as the Skipper goes down, but miraculously the drink and olive stays inside the cup as though held there by magic. "We're going to have to let them on the boat now, Lovey," he sighs.

"Come aboard, I suppose," he calls out with great disdain to the group. But Lovey has one request: "That one has to ride in the dingy," she points directly at Itzhak. "His attire is not appropriate." The dingy, of course, is the tiny boat attached to the really big one.

Itzhak FINALLY manages to land the hit he's been wanting to land so bad his teeth hurt. POW! Everyone else isn't about to take this shit either apparently and Skipper goes down like bad coffee. Panting, at last kinda pissed off, Itzhak grabs his junk and yells at Thurston, "I GOT YA DINGHY RIGHT HERE!"

Kailey glances at Itzhak when he is singled out. She frowns and says, "Then I'm riding with him." And smiles at him. "Heeeeey...I can see your kitten face here if I look hard enough. Hehehehe. You were so cute," She tells him in that goofy and high way people are known to have. Then he's grabbing his junk and she just looses it laughing.

Alexander skids to a stop after his little burst of lightning basically just adds to the pain that the guy was already feeling. He falls over and Alexander looks down at him for a bit. "See? If it was 'Skipper's Island', you probably wouldn't have these problems." And then he turns, humming, to look at the others with a smile. "We got much less blown up that time." At the demand from Thurston, and Itzhak's comeback, he starts to giggle.

"But," snicker, "Itzhak," giggle, "...a dinghy is really small. Tiny."

This time Aidan's fireball gets Skipper right in the gut -- it's a pretty decent target there, let's be real -- and it joins with the others in beautiful Skipper-dropping fashion. Ha! "Thanks," he says to Kailey, and accepts the offer, sliding an arm around her shoulders. Then there's Itzhak's reply to the Howells, and he cracks up as well, which at the moment involves laughter punctuated every couple breaths with 'ow!'.

August watches the Itzhak-Howell argument progress, frowns when he goes all...scrambled and bleeped out. He rolls his eyes at Alexander. "Small compared to a yacht." He follows that up with a very significant Look which is probably meant to challenge the assertion Alexander or anyone he knows qualifies as a 'yacht-class' sort. He moves to help Kailey with Aidan. "Yeah, let's get you out there."

Kailey is trying to soothe Aidan while laughing at the same time. But his laughter and little 'ows' are not helping! There is much snorting and snickering and return of giggles as she offers, "I can try and float you over to the boat. You should at least get to ride in style. Bet they have a shower on that yacht..." Or better yet they wake up.

Kailey helps to get Aidan across first and then the others. And keeps to her word of hanging with Itzahk in the dingy if he is forced to stay there. Though she also happily snags coconut drinks down from the main ship for them. The Force is with her, yo. She and Itzhak can have fun trying to figure out what that cloud is, and that one. "I think that one's a penis," She says, pointing to one on the horizon as they come into the harbor. It's about then she notices just how cold it is. Nippy even and she winds up crossing her arms and rubbing them. "Shit...I don't have my phone..."

Itzhak has a few more things to say to Lovey about THAT, all of which get bleeped out by some Veil censor. By the time they're deposited on the docks, he's wearing a frangipani lei and an irritated expression and he's incredibly fucking cold, immediately goosebumping up and shivering in the early November chill. "My mellow is so harshed right now," he grouses, going to Ruiz to fuss over his injured leg. Don't worry, Itzhak, there's lots more mellow where that one came from.

"It's still SMALL, August. Comparatively is just semantics!" Alexander is enjoying being juvenile too much to let things like facts stop him. He giggles his way into the boat, finds somewhere to sprawl, and by the time that they've made their way back to port, probably everyone is thoroughly sick of his obsession with the word 'dinghy' and the way he keeps PETTING things. The seats, the drinks, the boat. His hands are as rambly as his words.

There's a guffaw from Ruiz when Alexander points that out. About the dinghy. Despite the fact that he's bruised and bleeding and probably needs medical attention from being the fucking meatshield again. "Come on, let's go," he murmurs to Itzhak, shooting a dirty look Lovey's way like, the fuck's your problem? Because as if he hasn't been the recipient of that look before from countless MAGA hatted turdburgers, and learned how to shrug it off.

"Hasta el tuyo," he'll inform Mrs. Howell on his way off the boat, twisting aside when she tries to put a lei on his neck.

Aidan only laughs harder at Alexander's note about dinghy size comparisons, which means he also ows harder, but at last it keeps his spirits up. That and still being pretty damn well-baked. It makes the trip a lot more bearable than it would usually be in his current state. But back on the dock it's cold and he's barefoot, and that's still an awful lot of blood. And a lei! But mostly blood. "I better... I hope the hospital isn't being a soap opera now."

August enjoys the drinks, in as much as a Dream may be enjoyed. More than once he puts something in Alexander's hands to keep them safely busy. Sorry, Mr. Howell, but those pillows and that suit jacket and the blankets and the cute little stuffed squid are all Alexander's now. Once they're ditched on the docks, he makes use of someone's phone to text Eleanor to come and fetch him, offering a ride to those who might need it. He's barefoot, he ain't walking anywhere.